Category: Leadership

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Big News for My Family and New Passion

Family

In 46 days there will be some big changes for my family and for New Passion Church. In 46 days, New Passion will have already celebrated our 6th birthday and as great of a milestone as that is, it’s been a long, tiring, challenging, yet rewarding 6 years. Although we knew the right answers and felt prepared mentally for the challenges of planting a church in a military and government community, it’s a whole new ball game once you actually put the wheels in motion. Within two weeks of our launch, we had two new families, who loved the church (and there wasn’t much to love back then), receive orders to move. Launching with 37 people, 16 of which were children, we needed people who agreed with our mission and loved our style of ministry to plug in with us early, but immediately we realized the challenges that would lie ahead of us in the years to come. It didn’t even take a month to realize theory and reality are two totally different things.

[tweetthis remove_hidden_urls=”true”]Theory and reality are two totally different things[/tweetthis]

The Struggle

Over the last 6 years, all of our leaders have either been volunteers or bi-vocational; meaning we’ve all been distracted from giving proper attention to the needs and demands of the church, because we have to pay bills and put food on the table for our families. Thankfully, God has given us great leaders, but that means in the business world they (including myself) are involved in high demanding jobs that take a lot of attention and require a lot of time. At times, this has only served to hinder New Passion. A big part of our struggles have been the lack of time and ability to train and develop new leaders and volunteers who can assist us in some of the everyday/every week ministry responsibilities, especially when we only have many of our people for a limited amount of time, before they’re shipped off. Without properly trained people, when things have to get done, it falls back on our shoulders. I cannot speak for the rest of my team, but for me personally, I am exhausted and I have decided I cannot pastor New Passion full time, take on additional roles we have not found qualified people for: Youth Pastor, Graphic Designer, Publications, etc, in addition to working a job that demands 45-50 hours per week while also having me on call 24/7. salvationarmy_logo-jpgI can no longer work 5 days per week, full time, and then come home on Friday night mentally and physically exhausted, yet still have to stay up until 5 a.m. to write a message for Sunday and then with just a few hours sleep try to spend a little time with my family before working almost all night Saturday to make sure programs and everything are ready for Sunday. I can no longer require my children to sacrifice being children by not being able to participate in extra curricular activities with school and the community. Nicki cannot play the role of both parents for three children and get them to practices and games and recitals or whatever the event might be by herself, because I cannot be there due to an evening meeting, counseling session, or something else required of me as a full time bi-vocational pastor. I have been a poor leader for New Passion because I have been spiritually, physically, and relationally unhealthy, myself. My first ministry is not to the church, it’s to my family. So, I have had to pray about and make a decision for the  future of my family and for New Passion. On one hand, I have a full time job that provides a majority of my income to provide for my family; I do ministry there and have had great success. On the other hand, I have a church that I felt God lead me to start; it’s been tough and it has struggled to get to a place where it can support staff; beyond a handful of leaders, there has been very little desire expressed by our people to make this a priority. It has not been an easy decision, but I have to put God and my family first.

[tweetthis]I have been a poor leader because I’ve been spiritually, physically & relationally unhealthy, myself[/tweetthis]

Moving On

New Logo Concept-250pxI have made the decision to move on, in 46 days. My final day will be Sunday, September 20, 2015. This is the right decision, it’s the healthiest decision, and it’s the most obedient and faith driven decision. After September 20, I will no longer be the CSRC Manager at the Salvation Army. I have officially resigned and will be stepping out on faith by trusting God to provide for New Passion in such a way that I can focus full time on leading the church God called me to start. Without a full time pastor, the church will never become all God intended it to be. This decision is not being made independently, but rather through the guidance of our executive leaders and our pastoral advisory team. The decision was actually made over a year ago, but the finances were not there.

[tweetthis]I have made the difficult decision to move on, in 46 days. My final day will be Sunday, September 20[/tweetthis]

 Permission to Go Second

The Carnes family is going first. This is the church we believe God called us to start and therefore if we are going to preach that we are called to live by faith, we must set the example by first living it. The biggest step of faith I ever took was to launch New Passion with $15,000 and 37 people, but now we are casting ourselves on the mercy and generosity of the very people God called us to lead. The finances are still not 100% where I would like them to be in order to make this move, but that’s why it’s called faith. If we are going to see our church go to the next level, this move has to be made. We are taking the first step of faith and hope it will relay_race_baton_91795766spur you on, to go second. Many of you are generous and consistent givers. Thank you! You have been the catalyst to help us see hope in making this move through our growth. It’s you who are helping us lead people to a passionate relationship with Jesus! However, there are still many of you who have yet to take a step of faith for yourself. You either don’t give, you don’t give consistently, or you don’t give sacrificially and generously. When you give, you’re not giving to the Carnes family, although one of the responsibilities of the local church is to provide for their leaders. When we give, we are first giving to God and He distributes the money in the local church for the work of the ministry and the advancement of our mission. He does this through the church leaders He sets in place and He does this through the people by adopting our annual budget. The act of giving and the characteristic of being generous is an act of worship towards God, it’s also an act of faith and obedience.

One of the reasons I have been bi-vocational for the last 6 years was to prevent our family from being a burden to the church and handcuffing us financially from being able to do ministry, however I can no longer allow another person’s lack of faith or disobedience in generous giving to be an excuse to be disobedient myself by not taking the step of faith God has called me to. I am asking you to step out in faith with us. Start giving if you haven’t; give consistently if you’ve been inconsistent; give generously if you’ve been stingy. Am I asking you this because my family’s welfare is dependent on God through the church? No, I asked this of you when I had a paycheck coming in from an outside source. I’m asking you this because it’s spiritually healthy and right and it allows us to do even more ministry and eventually add even more staff to help lead us to become a great church. The responsibility of the church is to take care of their leaders; we are dependent on you following Jesus in your own personal life and taking the steps of faith He calls you to. Statistics show that a church should have one full time staff member per 86 people in attendance; therefore we should truly not be talking about adding one full time staff member, but two. When we don’t have the right people on the bus, we’re prevented from getting to where we should be; or we get there slower and with more bumps in the road. When we don’t have the finances to put fuel in the bus, we get nowhere!

Your Turn

When you use your gifts and talents to serve at New Passion, you make us stronger and healthier by helping take the load off of those doing too much. Listen to my sermon, Stagnant Cells, from a couple of weeks ago and then make a decision to do your part by serving in a ministry environment or on a service team.

You can help fuel the bus to help us get where God wants us to go, by making a commitment to give. You can start today through our online giving option. It allows for one time gifts, gifts by guest, and reoccurring giving. You can give at New Passion, on Sundays, by way of offering envelopes or through the Connection Point KIOSK. Every financial gift given to support the ministry and mission of New Passion Church is 100% tax deductible.

You play a much larger role in the local church than you think. You help make New Passion an awesome and effective church in Grovetown and in every place God has given us influence. Church is not about sitting in a seat, hearing a sermon, and going home. Church is about coming together to be encouraged, to be challenged, and to be an encourager before going home to live out your faith in the community and in your workplace.

[tweetthis]You play a much larger role in the local church than you think.[/tweetthis]

I am excited for the potential we have at New Passion and I look forward to being able to provide the full time care that it needs. I’m excited for this new season of life where I can also provide the proper care for my family, as well as for myself physically. I’m excited for us to work together to make New Passion all God wants it to be!

 

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Fatherless

I started reading, “It’s Better to Build Boys Than Mend Men” by S. Truett Cathy

Chapter One shares these disturbing facts about fatherlessness in the United States:

The Results of Fatherlessness:

The United States is the world’s leader in fatherless homes. The results of our actions, according to the Father’s Manifesto:

  • 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes
  • 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes (I personally see the results of this daily).
  • 80% of rapists motivated with displaced angers come from fatherless homes.
  • 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes
  • 85% of youth in prison grew up in fatherless homes
  • 75% of all adolescent patients in drug treatment centers come from fatherless homes (I personally see this manifest itself in adult males, daily)

Children from Fatherless Homes are:

  • 5 times more likely to commit suicide
  • 32 times more likely to run away
  • 20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders
  • 14 times more likely to commit rape
  • 9 times more likely to drop out of school
  • 10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances
  • 9 times more likely to end up in a state-operated institution
  • 20 times more likely to end up in prison

When we hear or read ‘fatherless’ homes, we tend to assume that there is no father figure in the home, however Truett Cathy points out that many, “children all around us are growing up without strong positive guidance from their parents, who are busy, distracted, absent, or who choose to be buddies instead of parents to their children.” Some fatherless homes are homes with a disengaged father living in them. So, whether the father has left the home or is simply disengaged and still living in the home; a father’s choices and actions make a huge impact on his children.

Truett Cathy makes the following point, “Don’t be too concerned that your children don’t listen to you. But be very concerned that they see everything you do.” Mr. Cathy’s story is one of a disengaged father, but he had a Sunday School teacher that came along and provided a positive, father-like influence in his life that made a huge impact in his life.

In what ways do you as a dad need to engage your children in a positive, Biblical way to impact their future? Do you know of any children that have a disengaged or an absent father in their life that you can influence in a positive, Biblical way as a father-like mentor?

 

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The Two Faces of Leadership

Leadership Face One

Many of us have heard it taught that God ordains leaders and places them in their positions of authority and influence. I believe this.

A paraphrased look at the three most popular passages that we get this teaching from is…. Daniel 4:17, it tells us that, “the Most High rules over the kingdoms of the world and gives them to anyone he chooses, even the lowliest of men.” Romans 13:1 tells us that those in positions of authority have been placed there by God; and finally 1 Peter 2:13-14 tells us to respect all human authority…kings…heads of state…or officials….he has appointed.

This is one face of leadership.

As Andy Stanley shared at the Catalyst Conference several years ago. Leadership is a stewardship, it is temporary and leaders will be held accountable for the influence God has entrusted to us.

If God ordains one to a position of leadership, that leader should steward that influence well. Andy presented three truths as to how we can steward our influence as leaders well: 1) Diligence – As Colossians 3:23 instructs us, we should work at whatever we do (or are called to do) with all our hearts. 2) Fearlessness – The final statement given to us in Colossians 3:23 is this, as for the Lord and not for men. A leader can only lead well when his concern for disobeying God is greater than his fear of disappointing people. 3) Humility – God placed us in the positions that he has placed us in; therefore we have no reason and no room to be arrogant or prideful in our leading.

This part of leadership is what everyone talks about. But, what about the second part of leadership? The part that is implied but unspoken? The part that most overlook and never talk about?

Leadership’s Second Face

I know several people that have a history of leadership, but for some reason they are struggling to get hired as a pastor or a youth pastor or as a manager or in some other leadership capacity that they’ve served as in the past. They want to be leaders again, but the door is not opening.

I also know several people that have never been leaders that would probably chew off their right arm (or left, if they are right handed) to be placed in a leadership position. Several of the people I can place in this category have a misconception about leadership and it’s requirements. They see what they perceive as the “perks” of leadership, but they have no idea about the struggles, the pain and the difficulties that come with the position. They think a leadership title of director, pastor or manager will change their life. For some, it’s an issue of power and control. They fail to understand that Being bossy doesn’t make someone a boss.

If it is true that God appoints people to their position of leadership then it must also be true that God does not appoint some people into positions of leadership. This is another face of leadership. It’s a truth we don’t point out much.

But, it is healthy to point it out. People need to know that it is okay to serve in support roles. To be the associate or the assistant or even a volunteer. We glorify the leadership position too much, so much so that people want the glorification of the position. They think it will provide them more perks or more rights, whereas the truth of leadership remains that in positions of leadership our rights decrease while our responsibilities increase.

If one loves the organization that God has placed them in and they truly want the best for that organization, they will serve and support wherever the need is. Someone that’s out for their own glory, power, prestige and/or position will hinder the organization by attempting to force themselves into a position God did not appoint them to, or they will hijack progress by refusing to cooperate fully within the role God has placed them in. Colossians 3:23 and 1 Corinthians 10:31 applies to people filling support roles as much as it applies to those God has placed in leadership positions. With every verse that we are told that God appoints people to positions of leadership, we also get as much instruction (or more) to follow those leaders and to follow them well.

If I am not serving in a leadership position, does that mean God will never appoint me to a leadership position? No, but but there is the possibility that he might not. The question should be, “Am I willing to serve in whatever role God has for me?” If you are not in a leadership position and you are trying to get back into a leadership position or you are trying to obtain a leadership position for the first time, here are some ideas that may be of help to you:

  • Pray – Make your requests and desires known to God while you wait
  • Prepare – Everyone influences someone. Prepare for the possibility of assuming a future leadership position by developing your leadership skills with those God has allowed you to have influence over (family, children, etc.) How do you communicate to them? How do you develop them? Work on those skills.
  • Properly Support – Along the lines of preparing to be in a leadership position, how you support those in leadership positions go a long way to how you develop into a stronger leader. John Maxwell has a great article on “Leading from the Middle of the Pack” that gives great insight into this.
  • Patience and Flexibility – God places people into positions. If it is his desire for you to be there, he will place you there. God gave Joseph a dream that he would one day be in a leadership position, but it took him approximately 22 years to see that dream come to pass. But, what if God does not have a position for you? Remain flexible and fulfill your support role to the glory of God.
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The “L” in Leadership is Not for “Liar”

There are several things that would disqualify a person from being a leader or at least from being considered a leader, but there are two particular reasons I want to discuss which happen to fall under the same category.

The “L” in Leadership is Not for “Liar”

Lying and/or Deception (which is essentially lying) is one of the top actions to disqualify a person from being a leader. Sure, they may posses a leadership position, but that doesn’t mean they are a leader; no more than my putting a golf ball in an egg carton makes it an egg.

Leadership is the ability to influence people towards a specific vision or goal. When an individual resorts to the art of lying or the use of deception, they are no longer considered a leader, but rather a manipulator (and that’s only if they are able to successfully maneuver people as a result of the lies).

Leadership is the ability to influence people towards a specific vision or goal. The use of lies and deception eliminates the key verb, “influence” in that definition. Lying is not influencing; its the attempt to appease another person (telling them what they want to hear) or its an effort to try and avoid difficult conversations or issues. A leader does not hide from confrontation, he addresses it head on (see Saul vs. Jonathan in 1 Samuel 13-14). A person will also be found resorting to lies and deception when they’re attempting to reach their own goal in a dishonest manner.

  • It could be a supervisor saying what they think an employee wants to hear in order to deceive them into believing they have an opportunity to retain employment when the supervisor’s goal is to keep them employed until the person they really want to work with is available.  Even if the supervisor is able to keep that employee in place until the perfect timing to replace them, the supervisor did not reach this goal through influence, rather by deceiving the current employee that they had an opportunity.
  • It could be a sales manger who promises a salesperson specific rewards or bonuses if they reach a specific sales number and then backtracks on that promise with some type of petty excuse once the salesperson reaches their goal. The sales manager reached their goal of higher sales from their salesperson, but they didn’t use influence, they used lies.
  • It could be a pastor with a specific vision or goal for his church and when facing opposition and friction from his leadership team and/or elders, he pushes harder, lies and deceives to paint a picture of horrible consequences if they do not go along with his idea. Even if the pastor gets his way, he will not have done it through any influence of his own, rather through manipulation.
  • Ditto point #2, just change the person in question with a politician and change the vision for the church to an idea for the country. I think you can figure it out.

Join the conversation: Are you a leader that’s resorted to lying and deception to get your way? Why?

Have you been in an organization where the “leader” above you used lies and deception versus influence to obtain what they wanted? What was the results?

 

 

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Why We Don’t Beg People to Stay

I have a firm rule as a pastor. I DO NOT beg (or ask) people to stay at New Passion.

I’ve always had my reasons why, but this verse, though simple, is very profound, I couldn’t have said it better myself…

These people left our churches, but they never really belonged with us; otherwise they would have stayed with us. When they left, it proved that they did not belong with us. 1 John 2:19

Here are a few of my (personal) reasons…

1. Protection – Jesus warned against false prophets who come in the church dressed as one of the sheep, but are as vicious wolves on the inside (Matthew 7:15). I believe this verse can be extended beyond “prophets” to those who would prey on the flock God has entrusted into my leadership and the leadership of the other church leaders. It is my responsibility to care for this flock that Jesus entrusted to me (1 Peter 5:2 “Care for the flock that God has entrusted to you. Watch over it willingly…“)

    Why do “wolves” prey on the flock?
  • Sexual Gain – There are people who’ll infiltrate the church to manipulate members of the opposite sex for sexual gain.
  • Financial Gain – There are people, especially in businesses who rely on sales, marketing, and networking who will infiltrate the church to prey on others financially to build their own businesses and to profit personally from the people within the church. This is one of the reasons the “rich” and “successful” people flock to the largest churches in town, it’s good for business because there’s more people to “befriend.” And we all know that’s why Jesus established His church.
  • Wicked Intentions – The fact is…there are evil people in this world and they have wicked intentions (whatever category they fall in). You are not going to convert a wolf into a vegetarian. Their nature is to devour meat. A “spiritual” wolf’s nature is to produce wickedness. Their goal is to cause chaos and destruction in the church. As Matt Chandler once asked, [paraphrased] “Would you dip your kids in blood and allow them to play with wolves?” “So why would we be okay with wolves hanging around our flock?

2. Preferences – The fact is, everyone has different preferences when it comes to church, and New Passion is not for everyone. We understand that and we are okay with that. Some people like chocolate ice cream, others prefer vanilla, while smart people (like me) choose strawberry. An Italian came along one day and decided he’d put all three together and it became known as “Neapolitan” Ice Cream. This would later become the blueprint for the church that offers a little bit of everything for everyone with a traditional service, contemporary service, Sunday School, and Small Groups. That’s okay for them, but it’s not for us. Our style is modern. Some people like a traditional style of worship or even a more toned down contemporary style. We know that people are going to come check us out and not everyone will be looking for what we are offering. That’s okay! It would be pointless to try and beg people to stay in an environment that they are uncomfortable with.

3. Prompting – Bottom-line, God leads people away from ministries in order to use them in other places. To try  and convince people to “stay” with your ministry is selfish and could serve as potential confusion for those trying to discern the still small voice of God that is prompting them to serve in another capacity within another ministry. This is usually easy to recognize because these people will be faithful servants already serving or attempting to serve in the church where God placed them for that season. Some people will use this as an excuse to make it easier to leave because they fear confrontation and it’s pretty easy to discern, because they aren’t really faithfully serving in the present where they are at. Let them go! If we have someone who is faithfully serving, but feels God is prompting them to move to another ministry, we will do our very best to support them and pray for them as God uses them in a new capacity.

    I was never the guy that dated a girl, broke up, dated again, broke up, dated again, etc, etc. I just didn’t see the point. I’ve been a part of churches where people would go to the leadership and announce that they felt it was time they found another church and through various forms of manipulation and “new” positions and jobs within the church, they would feel guilty and stay. In the end, the results were the same, but they spent several more months in misery. The reality is, no one can give me a single reason why any church or leader or pastor should beg anyone to stay…..yeah I didn’t think so.

    If you start the habit of babying people, you have to keep it up! If you beg people to stay because they are big givers, well, then I believe you are a faithless, hireling, and people’s money will always control you.

    Anyway, I would love to hear your thoughts on the matter. This is solely my personal opinion 🙂