Tag: dad

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A Day of Honor

The Carnes MenToday is a Day to Honor….

It is a day to pause and to reflect on the goodness of God to give such a wonderful gift as a father. Not all men deserve this honor, but there are a select group of men that, although are not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, strive hard and give their best to be a father, husband and man deserving of honor and respect.

Today, as I think about the many friends that I have who either lost their dad at an early age or was brought into this world by a man that may embody the term by gender  but insults the very meaning of the word in deed and lifestyle, my gratitude to God increases for the dad that he allowed me to have and the time he has given me with him.

My dad is not perfect, but he is a man that deserves respect and honor. He helped lay so many of the stones that I now walk on as a foundation for my life. He modeled what it means to live a sacrificially for those that you love. That sacrifice may have embodied working multiple jobs to pay the bills or going without personally so that his kids could have what was needed, but whatever form it found itself in, it was modeled in quiet humility, never demanding or requiring gratitude or the slightest appreciation. If I had to describe my dad in two words it would have to be quiet and steady. He always just does what needs to be done. He has never been one to seek the spotlight or wanted to attract a lot of attention.

My dad is a man of conviction and integrity. In 2007, he ran for the U.S. Senate against Lindsey Graham and later the U.S. Congress. Some may have looked on in disdain or with a slight snicker under their breath because of the great odds that he was up against with a career politician. But, how many other men can say they had convictions about the way our country should be run and stood up to do something about it? Win, lose or draw…you can only make a difference if you get in the game…my dad got in the game and made his voice heard as loud as he could with as much platform as he was allowed to have. I always believed he had a chance to win!

There have been times in my lifetime that I have seen people rise up against my dad, falsely accusing him of things and trying to ruin his name, and while everything inside of me wanted him to fight against them and tell them how things really were, he was quiet and steady; just doing the right thing and not answering fools according to their foolishness (Proverbs 26:4).

My dad helped lay the stones of my faith and my involvement in the ministry. He didn’t look down on me because of my age, but he allowed me to serve in various roles as a young person and many times by his side on the Migrant Fields of South Georgia. It was through this exposure and this experience that I felt God calling me into full time ministry. My dad didn’t always just teach me what was right and wrong, but he challenged me to compare my own personal views to the teachings provided to us in Scripture. As I made a choice to walk away from some of the traditions I was raised in within the church (although I have never walked away from the faith), my dad stood by quiet and steady and allowed me to forge my own path for which God uses to this day. He never forced his opinions or his convictions on me, rather he allowed me to be led by God on the path he helped lay.

My dad taught me how to be faithful and committed to my family. To marry a woman that is better than the rest. He taught me on my first Christmas to take his better power drill back to the store and keep my wife’s crappy drill…he assured me things in the home would run much smoother if I did…so I did as he suggested.

I could go on and on and on about the lessons I have learned from my dad and the positive impact he has had on my life. Today, I am blessed that God, in his mercy, was so kind to give me a dad I could honor and be proud to call my own.

Nick and KidsToday is a Day to Feel Honored…

Being a dad is a scary proposition. You’ve never been one until you’ve been one. Today, is a day that I get to pause and reflect on how blessed I truly am and how honored I am to be the dad to my three children: Gavin, Tristan and Hailey.

All three are unique in their own way, but they all make me smile and they all make me feel a little closer to God knowing how he must look down on us, his children, with joy, laughter and pride.

I am honored that many times as I walk towards the door to go to work, I can’t get there without all three of my kids tackling me, almost knocking me to the ground to make sure they hug me goodbye. I am honored that many times as I walk towards the door to come in to the house as I am returning for work I am greeted in the garage or in the doorway with their hugs and smiles greeting me from a long day a part.

I love the gift God has given me of fatherhood. I love chasing my children around the house and having pillow fights. I love having them beg to ride in my car home from church. I love knowing my kids love me and want to be a part of my life and want me to be a part of their life. What joy it is to be a father. I desire to be the kind of father that deserves respect and honor.

Being a dad is scary and there are always fears of screwing up and making the wrong choices or having to watch your child deal with the pain of their own bad choices. I am blessed and honored to have the greatest woman on the planet to be by my side and to forge this journey together. Nicki makes me a better man and she challenges me, whether I always admit it or not, to be a better man. I wouldn’t be anything my children deserve without her by my side. I hope that in the end, I will have impacted my children’s lives in the same positive way my dad impacted mine.

 

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Influences (Part 1)

Trust is the emotional glue that binds followers and leaders together.
Warren Bennis and Bert Nanus

A Danger always presents itself when someone who is in a leadership role gains the trust of those they desire to follow them; for it is with that trust that they can lead their followers in a positive direction or in a negative one.

I can think back to many of the wrong ideas I had about life, marriage, church, Christianity and leadership and it usually originated from someone who had earned my trust and used their emotional bond to influence me with their ideas, thoughts, and opinions. The same can be said about the positive influences in my life, they too can be traced back to influencers who have played a major role in my life, my ministry, and my career. Today I am pointing out a handful of people who have had a positive influence in my life, whether small or great, some while I was growing up and others are more recent. Later this week I will name a few more people who have influenced me:

1. My Dad (Tim Carnes): I remember seeing a huge transition in my dad, from a day where he believed Carmen was not godly music to the night we drug him to a Third Day Concert and attempted to get him in a mosh pit (He is a Southern Gospel Nut). My dad was tough and strict at times, but he never forced us to conform to a Biblical teaching just because it was taught. I remember numerous times coming home from a Christian school excited about something I had learned in the Bible and being challenged to back the new found teaching up with scripture. He taught me to believe what I believe because the Bible taught it, not because man said it. He taught me to work hard and to make sure the family is taken care of, even if that means working a 2nd or 3rd shift at Wendy’s. He also taught me that you can overcome any situation in life if you put your mind to a task and work hard, he earned his Bachelors, his Masters, and Doctorate Degrees through Life Scholarships when he was in his 40’s. At the age of 50 my dad ran for the U.S. Senate in South Carolina against Lindsey Graham, which taught me that at any age we should continue to live lives of adventure and risk.

2. My Grandpa (Jack Carnes): A gentle but tough man. He drinks 2 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar everyday to prevent certain health problems, yet last year he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Yet he does not stop and he’ll keep giving 110% of his life everyday until the Lord takes him to Heaven. My grandpa has two fingers on one hand, because he disobeyed his dad at the young age of 12 and played with a dynamite cap, it exploded taking off his fingers. Through his life story I have been taught that there are times you have to work 2 and 3 jobs to pay the bills and provide for your family. God comes first, your family second, and then your ministry.

3. Doug Fields: I remember when I first got hired full time in Student Ministry; I thought I knew a lot, I didn’t. I got a copy of the PDYM Book and devoured it. I remember being stopped at traffic lights trying to get one more sentence in. I came from churches who’s lifeline was programs and rules, so to hear an approach that focused very little on programs and strongly on relationships, processes, and freedom was liberating to a young and naieve pastor. Doug through his messages and leadership played a major role in that development, though it was from a distance at first.

4. Melvin Minitor: He allowed me at the age of 11 or 12 to be involved in ministry. It was during my involvement in the ministry he led that I felt the Lord call me into full time ministry. I learned how to share my faith with all walks of life as we sent almost every Saturday serving migrants in south Georgia. He has shown me the most genuine love of Christ I have ever seen and it has given him a deep love for people. He is one of the most genuine Christ followers I know. He is now very old and feeble, but I know everyday is a passionate walk with his Savior.

5. Shaney “Waney” Padgett: Shane and his wife Diana have been very good friends to my wife and me. They are such awesome people who love Jesus and love others. Shane has a life motto that is contagious, Biblical, yet short and effective: “Loving Jesus, Loving Others, and Pursuing Both!” I’ve stolen this because it says everything. My deal has always been to passionately pursue Christ because he passionately pursued us, and through that our hearts would be led to passionately pursue others. Shane’s motto says that effectively and in simpler terms. Shane has a passion for Jesus that is contagious and it is evident in the life of the students he has had the opportunity to invest in.

6. Chuck Gordon: My pastor (the Church @ Greenbrier). I have been able to learn many things from Chuck in my year and a half serving at Greenbrier. Nicki and I left a very tough situation, and Chuck (along with our church) provided a breath of fresh air for us when we needed it the most. We started leaving church on Sunday feeling challenged to grow in our walk with Christ.

7. Josh Griffin and Pete Wilson: Josh Griffin (High School Pastor @ Saddleback) influenced me to start blogging and I love it. He is also the happiest guy I know…I never see him without a smile (Live or on Podcast). Pete Wilson (Senior Pastor @ Cross Point Community Church) has influenced me to blog in a different way than the way I started out. Instead of being one sided, I now try to involve others in the conversation. Blogging is much more fun when others are participating along with you. The authenticity of Pete and his team is humbling and inspiring.

Influences (Part 2) will be coming later this week…

Join the Conversation – Who has been a positive influence in your life?

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I Need Your Input – Father’s Day 10 Days & Counting

This is my dad, Tim Carnes.

He has everything a man could want.
*Tools
*Bibles & Books
*Computer & Techy Stuff
*All of the Gather CDs and DVDs (Yes, he is a Gather fan 🙁 )

Join the conversation and let me know…
What do you get a man for Father’s Day who really doesn’t need anything, but deserves something great?