Tag: influence

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The Chip

Just a few random thoughts from “the Chip”
13131285_10154031704546083_2855780508842323746_o 1. This one year chip falls out of my wallet from time to time, like it did tonight. It was given to me over a year ago by a man who completed the substance abuse program I used to manage. He gave it to me and said, “Every time you see this, I want you to remember the impact you had on people’s lives, like you did mine.” I think about him, each time I see this.
2. This past week, I ran into two men who went through that program. Both looked great & both were working jobs. The guy I saw on Sunday had a smile glued to his face & hugged me three times. It not only inspires me, personally, to see these men living new lives, but it reminds me that HOPE is ALWAYS possible in Jesus. It was possible for them and it’s possible for you!
3. Who are you investing in? Who are you duplicating your life, ministry, or influence in? When you’re no longer around, who will carry on your work? That’s my ever increasing desire: I’m praying for opportunities to give more of myself, not just to people who need hope, but to those who can give that hope. I don’t just want New Passion Church to go deep, I want us to go wide. I don’t want New Passion to die with me, I want it to thrive well beyond my life; we’ll do that by entrusting and sending others out to the people. Who will carry on your legacy and your work? #Reflection

“Every time you see this, I want you to remember the impact you had on people’s lives, like you did mine.”

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Excerpt from Reflection Week 1

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An excerpt from ‪#‎Reflection‬ Week 1:
“Can I be honest? There have been occasions, I’ve thought about quitting as the pastor of New Passion. Pastoring & being in ministry can be tough. You dream dreams & hope for things much quicker than they become reality. It’s tough building a new church in a military & Govt. community, and was made even tougher with some issues we had to deal with in the past….I’ve told Nicki on a few occasions I’d rather go be a janitor at a church where I can personally sit & be inspired than to continually deal with the same struggles…..

….Do you know what kept me from quitting & continues to keep me from quitting? Sure, this is what God called me to do, but in the Bible God calls people to do stuff all the time & they simply ignore him….you know it, because there’s stuff in your own life you’re not willing to do or willing to give to God because you just don’t want to. You’re “called” to do it, but you just don’t want to do what you’re called to do, so you don’t do it. It wasn’t just because I was called to pastor New Passion. What keeps me from quitting is YOU!

It’s your life change! You’re an encouragement to me. When I hear New Passion was someone’s last chance they were giving church or God; when I hear that the light bulb finally switched on & you finally understood the gospel during a sermon; when I hear someone has spent more of their life outside of church than in it, but God changed them here; when I hear how God worked in your life at New Passion & helped you give up drugs, alcohol, pornography, or some other vice. Your life is a letter of recommendation of the Good News’ power; your life story encourages me & keeps me from giving up, because I see clearly how real it is. (Sermon text: 2 Corinthians 3:2-3)

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Influences (Part 1)

Trust is the emotional glue that binds followers and leaders together.
Warren Bennis and Bert Nanus

A Danger always presents itself when someone who is in a leadership role gains the trust of those they desire to follow them; for it is with that trust that they can lead their followers in a positive direction or in a negative one.

I can think back to many of the wrong ideas I had about life, marriage, church, Christianity and leadership and it usually originated from someone who had earned my trust and used their emotional bond to influence me with their ideas, thoughts, and opinions. The same can be said about the positive influences in my life, they too can be traced back to influencers who have played a major role in my life, my ministry, and my career. Today I am pointing out a handful of people who have had a positive influence in my life, whether small or great, some while I was growing up and others are more recent. Later this week I will name a few more people who have influenced me:

1. My Dad (Tim Carnes): I remember seeing a huge transition in my dad, from a day where he believed Carmen was not godly music to the night we drug him to a Third Day Concert and attempted to get him in a mosh pit (He is a Southern Gospel Nut). My dad was tough and strict at times, but he never forced us to conform to a Biblical teaching just because it was taught. I remember numerous times coming home from a Christian school excited about something I had learned in the Bible and being challenged to back the new found teaching up with scripture. He taught me to believe what I believe because the Bible taught it, not because man said it. He taught me to work hard and to make sure the family is taken care of, even if that means working a 2nd or 3rd shift at Wendy’s. He also taught me that you can overcome any situation in life if you put your mind to a task and work hard, he earned his Bachelors, his Masters, and Doctorate Degrees through Life Scholarships when he was in his 40’s. At the age of 50 my dad ran for the U.S. Senate in South Carolina against Lindsey Graham, which taught me that at any age we should continue to live lives of adventure and risk.

2. My Grandpa (Jack Carnes): A gentle but tough man. He drinks 2 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar everyday to prevent certain health problems, yet last year he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Yet he does not stop and he’ll keep giving 110% of his life everyday until the Lord takes him to Heaven. My grandpa has two fingers on one hand, because he disobeyed his dad at the young age of 12 and played with a dynamite cap, it exploded taking off his fingers. Through his life story I have been taught that there are times you have to work 2 and 3 jobs to pay the bills and provide for your family. God comes first, your family second, and then your ministry.

3. Doug Fields: I remember when I first got hired full time in Student Ministry; I thought I knew a lot, I didn’t. I got a copy of the PDYM Book and devoured it. I remember being stopped at traffic lights trying to get one more sentence in. I came from churches who’s lifeline was programs and rules, so to hear an approach that focused very little on programs and strongly on relationships, processes, and freedom was liberating to a young and naieve pastor. Doug through his messages and leadership played a major role in that development, though it was from a distance at first.

4. Melvin Minitor: He allowed me at the age of 11 or 12 to be involved in ministry. It was during my involvement in the ministry he led that I felt the Lord call me into full time ministry. I learned how to share my faith with all walks of life as we sent almost every Saturday serving migrants in south Georgia. He has shown me the most genuine love of Christ I have ever seen and it has given him a deep love for people. He is one of the most genuine Christ followers I know. He is now very old and feeble, but I know everyday is a passionate walk with his Savior.

5. Shaney “Waney” Padgett: Shane and his wife Diana have been very good friends to my wife and me. They are such awesome people who love Jesus and love others. Shane has a life motto that is contagious, Biblical, yet short and effective: “Loving Jesus, Loving Others, and Pursuing Both!” I’ve stolen this because it says everything. My deal has always been to passionately pursue Christ because he passionately pursued us, and through that our hearts would be led to passionately pursue others. Shane’s motto says that effectively and in simpler terms. Shane has a passion for Jesus that is contagious and it is evident in the life of the students he has had the opportunity to invest in.

6. Chuck Gordon: My pastor (the Church @ Greenbrier). I have been able to learn many things from Chuck in my year and a half serving at Greenbrier. Nicki and I left a very tough situation, and Chuck (along with our church) provided a breath of fresh air for us when we needed it the most. We started leaving church on Sunday feeling challenged to grow in our walk with Christ.

7. Josh Griffin and Pete Wilson: Josh Griffin (High School Pastor @ Saddleback) influenced me to start blogging and I love it. He is also the happiest guy I know…I never see him without a smile (Live or on Podcast). Pete Wilson (Senior Pastor @ Cross Point Community Church) has influenced me to blog in a different way than the way I started out. Instead of being one sided, I now try to involve others in the conversation. Blogging is much more fun when others are participating along with you. The authenticity of Pete and his team is humbling and inspiring.

Influences (Part 2) will be coming later this week…

Join the Conversation – Who has been a positive influence in your life?

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Chasing Daylight Chapter 4 Thoughts (Part 2)

Here are some quotes from Chapter 4 of Chasing Daylight by Erwin McManus, that have really stood out to me. The chapter is on “Influence.”

  • Influence is defined as “power affecting a person, thing, or course of events” – especially one that operates without without any direct or apparent effort.
  • Many times we conclude we are powerless because we cannot changes things “up.” Those who hold positions of power and authority simply will not see things our way. All too often when we cannot change things up, we conclude that we cannot change anything.
  • How many times have we concluded we were powerless to make a difference because the available resources were withheld from us?
  • Two roadblocks that often mislead us are lack of authority and lack of resources.
  • [In the story about Jonathan and Saul referenced in the book] Saul was paralyzed because he had too much to lose. **My Note: I never want to be paralyzed because I have too much to lose.**
  • Title, position, and authority may hold power, but influence travels through relationships. And in the end, influence is the fountainhead of power.
  • The essence of influence is to win the heart and soul of another person through the strength of your own character and personhood. This is why influence is always more powerful than authority. Authority can shape what a person does, but influence shapes who a person becomes.
  • All of us pass a bit of ourselves on to others. You better like who you are and make what you give to others from yourself a gift and not a curse.
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Chasing Daylight Chapter 4 Thoughts (Part 1)

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Here are the first quotes that have stood out to me so far from Chapter 4 of Chasing Daylight from Erwin McManus. The chapter is titles “Influence.”

  • Manipulation is the use of influence to control others for personal gain. It is the dark side of influence. Manipulation could be described as a relational lie. It is not merely deception in language, but the corruption of trust.
  • While manipulation is inherently evil, influence is the best way to lead and move others toward what is good.
  • A life touched by God always ends in touching others.
  • We have lost confidence in the power of influence, and because of that, we have lost the beauty of its art. The problem with potential power is that while it may control the actions of another human being, it does not capture the heart.

Just being straight up…this chapter has stood out to me so far because I have been in a church environment where the pastor was a master manipulator. I have seen where his manipulation has severely wounded and damaged people, some to the point of no return. I see a pattern in scripture where God was disgusted and angered by the priest in the Old Testament and the Pharisees and Sadducees in the New Testament because they led people away from the love of God versus towards it. Jesus said in Matthew 23 that the Pharisees would travel land and sea to make one convert, only to turn them into twice the sons of hell as they were.

I saw this pastor use his influence to manipulate the sale of a church and its property that people invested years of their life and in some cases “hundreds” of thousands of dollars to see a deceptive vision come to pass. All for nothing, there was no reason for anything that took place. I’ve forgiven this man, but it does not diminish the damage and the hurt caused by the power of manipulation. Erwin is correct…it is the “Dark Side” of influence. My only prayer is that God extends the same amount of mercy and grace in my life as I need it as he has this man. My true prayer is that I live for God in such a way that I never need that much.

Nicki and I were talking the other day about men who have used their influence in the same manner. I told Nicki that if I had as much influence as these people had, I would truly use it to change the world, not to meet a personal agenda. That is my honest desire. I believe the key is when Erwin said, “A life touched by God always ends in touching others!” What do you want to use your influence to do?