My First 40 Years

Today, is my 40th Birthday, which means I have actually completed 40 years of life. I was thinking the other day about some of the things I’ve learned so far, or some of the things I have grown to appreciate, so I thought I’d share some of them here with you.


  1. Jesus is King. My life belongs to Him.
  2. Salvation is by grace alone through faith alone in Jesus alone. Don’t allow people to trap you in legalism or in performance based religion.
  3. My wife and children are the greatest earthly treasures God has ever given to me. I am a wealthy man because of them.
  4. You must be friendly in order to have friends, but just because someone is friendly doesn’t mean they are your friend.
  5. Actions DO speak louder than words. Show me, don’t just tell me.
  6. The end goal is worth the hard work: I can only expect to receive what I put into something whether relationships, career, knowledge, etc.
  7. Be who God created you to be. Don’t be a cheap imitation of someone else.
  8. People will hurt you, but Jesus never leaves or forsakes you.
  9. Forgive quickly. Forgive frequently. Forgive indiscriminately. Extend radical grace.
  10. Always do the right thing, even when it doesn’t make sense or immediately benefit you. Both blessing and consequence are typically delayed.
  11. Always remain teachable.
  12. Find a mentor. Find a coach.
  13. Don’t allow anyone to hold you back, not even yourself.
  14. Not everyone will believe in you. That’s okay. You keep believing, and keep trusting the God who you belong to.
  15. Family is your greatest priority. Family is your greatest ministry.
  16. You won’t ever regret being generous and giving sacrificially.
  17. True love is revealed in how you care for people who can’t repay you.
  18. True character is revealed by what you do when no one else is watching.
  19. Self-Righteousness is unappealing. It’s equally as unrighteous as the sinner you might look down on.
  20. Every day is a gift. Not everyone has lived to 40. Not everyone is as physically able as God has allowed me to be.
  21. It’s an undeserved blessing to live in the home God gave my family. I never take it for granted and remember it was given to us in His perfect timing. One month later, we couldn’t have afforded it. Not everyone has a roof over their head, A/C & Heat, a comfortable bed, clothes, or a pantry full of food. I am better off than my parents were when I was a kid.
  22. God is sovereign.
  23. God repays evil. You don’t have to.
  24. You don’t need a lot of friends. One or two good ones will do.
  25. Dream big.
  26. Take risks.
  27. Failure isn’t final. Dream big again. Take even more risks.
  28. Choose to look for the positive in every situation.
  29. Negativity is a poison to your soul and pushes people away.
  30. God’s Word is absolute truth and will never lead you wrong.
  31. Find a great spouse and fight for the success of your marriage.
  32. Be honest.
  33. Talk to God. He is present and He hears you.
  34. “Keep it Kind.” – Kimberly Mullins. You can’t control other people, but you can choose to be kind.
  35. I appreciate the Christian home and foundation given to me by my parents.
  36. Don’t take people for granted, they won’t always be with you.
  37. You are entitled to nothing. No one owes you anything.
  38. As a Christian, remember what you owe God and how He saved you from it. Perspective changes our attitude.
  39. Some things are worth fighting for, some are worth dying for.
  40. I am saved to live for God’s Kingdom, not my own kingdom.
  41. Our measure of success is obedienceShane Padgett
  42. Don’t take yourself so seriously.
  43. There is always more to learn….

Join the Conversation: What are some valuable lessons you’ve learned in your own?

What If We Joined Boats?

What if you joined our boat? Or, someone else’s boat and their crew?

While speaking at Azusa Pacific University’s chapel, Francis Chan shared that he and his family are moving to Asia, this year, to become missionaries. He said, in part:“I feel like I’ve been fishing in the same pond my whole life and now there’s, like, thousands of other fishermen at the same pond, and our lines are getting tangled and everyone’s fighting over stupid things. One guy tries some new lure and catches a fish, and we’re like, ‘he caught a fish, let’s all try his method,’ and it just feels like, what are we all doing here?”

For Francis, he feels led to go to Asia where there aren’t so many “fishermen” to share the gospel with the people in that region. I commend him for his obedience to the Great Commission, in this way. 

When I heard Francis Chan’s message, my immediate thought was, “Why not join efforts?” This might be because I have long believed that we have too many churches (yes, I know I started one), and many of those churches could and should join together. That’s why I was not shy about asking Dayspring if they were interested in merging with New Passion, and whether or not we would be “Better Together?”And, we found that we are better together. Dayspring wasn’t the first church I had talked about merging with, and it surely won’t be the last.

Together, now one family (New Passion Church), we share the same mission to lead people to become passionate followers of Jesus.

Dayspring won’t be the last church we’ll merge with because our heart is to help the local church be as effective as possible in leading people to become passionate followers of Jesus.

Francis Chan is right about many areas in the United States. There are a lot of fishermen fishing in the same ponds and in many cases their lines are getting tangled. Everyone sees the other as ‘competition’ and that shouldn’t be the case. We are family. Let’s be honest, it’s even more difficult for smaller, struggling churches. Especially when they are limited in finances, people, leaders, and facilities. It limits what ministry they can do, effectively. It’s more difficult when the ministry load is dependent on a smaller group of people who have to do everything. You can’t afford staff or quality leaders to help facilitate change and growth. Eventually, it leads to burnout and people depart for a boat they can rest on, without having to be the sole responsible person for their specific ministry. The already small, struggling church shrinks even more, until eventually it just barely exists or it has to fold.

Some churches have declined so bad they only have their life-long core group, & can’t even afford to hire a pastor.

What’s the silver bullet to change that? What’s the solution that will finally get the church over that hump, and keep it there? What’s the answer?

Some churches seek that silver bullet for years and never find it.

What if we were to untangle our lines and join our fishing crews? Our lines could be focused in specific directions to effectively catch fish, without overlapping each other. The weight of the mission wouldn’t be on just a handful of fishermen. And, there would be more resources to work with.

I am fully aware that not every church can be joined together successfully, but that shouldn’t be an excuse not to try, or to have a conversation.

I’m not the only one who believes this way. Just the other day, Eric Mason was advocating for more urban churches in Philadelphia to join forces.

I’ll tell you the biggest reasons why many churches won’t entertain this idea. Pride and Ego. It may mean having to admit failure. It may mean changing positions on the boat. It may mean giving up power. It may require giving up tradition. It may mean change. But, what could happen, if we didn’t allow pride to decide for God what He could do, when His people decide to work together for a greater purpose than the name on our boat?

If you would like to join New Passion’s boat, we would love to talk to you. But, just as importantly, if you and another church decide you want to join forces together, to become more effective, New Passion’s team would love to help assist you in that process, or to help orchestrate that process, as we have had a very successful merge with Dayspring. It’s not about New Passion Church, so however we can help you, we are willing to try.

Cold Fries

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There’s nothing like fresh, hot, crispy, and perfectly salted, golden french fries!

I recently went to a restaurant and ordered a meal that included fries. As soon as I received my meal, I noticed my fries didn’t look fresh, hot, crispy, or golden. The whole order looked cold,  flimsy, and brown.

I touched one. It felt stale and was lukewarm at best.

I tried one. It tasted like it looked.

I tried a second, just to make sure. It was the same outcome.

I was disappointed at the order of fries I was given and my immediate thoughts were, “I’m not going to enjoy these fries.” And, “I better eat them quickly before they get completely cold.” I even looked through them to see if I could pick out the “best” looking fries and just eat those.

I was going to settle for mediocre.

I had my reasons: I didn’t want to be “that” customer….the complaining customer. I didn’t want them thinking I let my own fries get cold, but then expected them to give me a fresh order (although this was less than 2 minutes after receiving the fries), I didn’t want to have to wait longer to receive new fries. I had reasons to settle and probably could have come up with even more excuses….reasons to settle for the poor quality.

Nicki and I used to watch Hell’s Kitchen on Fox. On the show two teams of chefs competed against each other; each chef hoping to win the championship as the top overall chef. Eventually the contestants were dismissed from the show if they were the weak link on the losing team. I noticed something small within the show that has significant value. The Master Chef, Gordon Ramsey, would typically be the last eyes on the plates leaving the kitchen. If the plate didn’t reflect the quality he expected from a high scale restaurant, he rejected it and made the team start over on that dish. It would set the team back in their competition, but it also taught a valuable lesson, one my dad taught me growing up, “Do the job right the first time!”

While it’s easy to point out that the restaurant allowed poor quality food to leave their kitchen; or point out that the poor quality reflects their standards for what they allow to represent them as an organization. I have to equally look at myself and own up to how easily I was willing to settle for mediocre. I paid for something, but was going to accept less than what I paid for. Instead of expecting high quality I was going to settle for poor quality.

As a leader, I know there are times I have settled for mediocrity and allowed my church or other work teams to do the same; it’s something that I have to actively fight against.

Everyone is not willing to settle for mediocre, even if we are. If you’re the leader of an organization, any organization, this should be a sobering reality. Just because you’re willing to settle for mediocrity doesn’t mean your customer, client, or congregant is willing to settle, or will settle.

[tweetthis]Everyone is not willing to settle for mediocre, even if we are.[/tweetthis]

Why do leaders settle for serving people cold fries?

Why do leaders allow medicority? Why are we okay with our organization & those who represent our organization offering poor quality and less than our best?

Here are a few reasons why we settle and what we need to avoid:

  1. Convenience:

It’s much easier on the front-end to ignore the cold, brown fries. “Maybe the customer won’t notice or won’t care. It’s easier to serve what’s in front of me than do a little bit of extra work to give my customer the best!”

  • Hopefully they’ll settle for our mediocre children’s environment
  • Hopefully they won’t run into one of our unfriendly, cold employees or volunteers
  • Hopefully they won’t mind the bad & out-of-tune music
  • Hopefully they won’t care our products are cheap, but overpriced
  • Hopefully they will ignore our clutter and disorganization

It’s more convenient to serve cold fries than it is to take 3-minutes to cook a fresh order. It’s a gamble, but you come out on top if the customer doesn’t complain, right? But, if you gamble and lose and the customer isn’t willing to settle, it still requires the same amount of work on the back-end to make things right, but only after the customer’s perception of you and your organization takes a negative hit.

It’s convenient and easier to overlook areas of weakness, poor quality, tension, and mediocrity  that needs addressing or correcting on the front-end, but when those things aren’t accepted by those you’re trying to reach, you won’t just have to make up ground to correct the problem, you’ll have to make up ground to restore the negative perception and reputation of your organization (and those who represent it).

The bigger issue isn’t a willingness to settle for mediocrity to hopefully save a few minutes of work on the front-end. It’s never just one incident that causes your team a few minutes of time and effort. The bigger issue is the culture and values of the organization. These are never one time issues; these issues reflect what the organization and its leaders are willing to accept and tolerate. It reflects what your company or church values. Where the organization must spend the most time and effort on the front-end is not cooking fresh, hot fries. They must invest the most time and effort instilling the organization’s values. If the organization values excellence and desires a culture of excellence where each team member offers God and their people (clients/customers/etc) their very best, it will require inconvenience on the front-end to teach and train their team to reflect those values in even the most mundane, daily routines.

Don’t compromise for the sake of convenience! The cost to your organization’s reputation is more than you may be willing to pay.

  1. Lack of Awareness:

Who likes having to be the complaining customer? No one I know. Sometimes people won’t tell you about their experience with your organization. We don’t always hear the complaints or the concerns verbalized to us so we can make the necessary changes. When your organization settles for mediocre, there’s a chance people won’t give you feedback about it. They won’t bring the cold, flimsy fries to your attention, but they will definitely express their displeasure. They will definitely remember their experience and they will either approve or disapprove of that experience with their feet. They’ll either approve by returning to your church or business, or they will disapprove by finding a place that doesn’t settle for poor quality, especially when it’s in your power to fix it.

The question we have to ask ourselves is, “Am I even aware of the quality my organization offers people?” My fries didn’t become cold, flimsy, and brown when they touched my table. The cook could have paid attention & noticed their condition. The lady who brought the food to my table could have paid attention and noticed the poor quality. Both of these employees could have been empowered to see a problem and be proactive to fix it. Either one of them could have said, “That doesn’t reflect our standards and it doesn’t represent the quality our restaurant promises our customers, let me fix that before it gets to the customer!” Instead the cold, brown fries passed through two sets of eyes from people who were okay with mediocrity.

We can’t rely on our customers to tell us where we are settling for mediocrity. We have to be aware of our own organization and we have to be proactive to fix what needs fixing.

What do you see in your organization? Can you see the areas where you or your team is settling for mediocrity? Do you see the areas where you have challenges? Or, are you so ingrained and familiar with your surroundings that you’re oblivious to the things that need improvement? After a while, brown fries look like fries; cold fries look like fries; flimsy fries look like fries, you can’t see the difference. Problems, challenges, and tensions are forgotten because they’ve always been there and they’re familiar now. If you’re having a hard time seeing what your organization is serving, try asking your customers for feedback. Ask a trusted friend from outside the organization to pay a visit with fresh eyes and an outsiders perspective to give you honest and constructive feedback. Don’t overlook what you offer people or you may find they overlook your organization.

[tweetthis]Don’t overlook what you offer people or you may find they overlook your organization[/tweetthis]

  1. Calm over Turbulence: 

Nicki and I went on our very first cruise for our 10th anniversary. Since I had never been on a cruise I didn’t know what to expect. After boarding the ship, we sat out on the top deck when suddenly I realized we were no longer at the dock and had moved quite a distance from where we boarded. The boat was so smooth I couldn’t even tell it was moving. That calmness didn’t last long. It seemed as soon as we lost sight of land the waters got more turbulent and the ship no longer moved peacefully. The boat rocked and we could feel it!

We heard several experienced cruisers say the waters were abnormally rough. Let’s be honest, no one likes being on a ship in the middle of the ocean when it’s rocking in rough waters. No one likes to be on an airplane 30,000 feet in the air during rough turbulence. As much as I would have preferred calm waters, we learned it was necessary to go through some turbulence to get to the crystal clear tropical beaches of the Bahamas, St.Thomas, and St. Maarten.

It may be more convenient and comfortable to not rock the boat so you can stay in calm waters, but that’s not always possible. As leaders, we have to keep our destination in mind and play the long game. Where are we trying to get as an organization? To get our organization and team to our desired destination, we may have to go through turbulent waters to get there. We have to be willing to address issues that are preventing us from getting to our destination. We may have to be willing to tackle tension, strengthen weaknesses, and confront conflict to get our organization to the place where its serving quality rather than mediocrity.

[tweetthis remove_twitter_handles=”true”]To get our organization and team to our desired destination, we may have to go through turbulent waters to get there[/tweetthis]

You may be a mid-level team member with little to no authority, but if you know the ship’s destination and you see an iceberg in the way, you have to be willing to alert the right people to the iceberg, or no one gets to the desired destination. Eventually you all go down on a sinking ship.

You can’t always get to where you’re going by staying in calm waters. You may have to take a risk by telling the manager that the fries are flimsy and cold. It may rock the boat for some, but in the end everyone gets to the same destination, if they can navigate through the necessary rough waters, together.

As a consumer, I didn’t settle for mediocre. I requested fresh fries. My new order was fresh, hot, and delicious! The restaurant recovered and corrected the problem. We don’t always get this opportunity. As a leader, put the work in up front and make sure your team knows your organization’s values and culture so you don’t settle for mediocre.

Excerpt from Reflection Week 1

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An excerpt from ‪#‎Reflection‬ Week 1:
“Can I be honest? There have been occasions, I’ve thought about quitting as the pastor of New Passion. Pastoring & being in ministry can be tough. You dream dreams & hope for things much quicker than they become reality. It’s tough building a new church in a military & Govt. community, and was made even tougher with some issues we had to deal with in the past….I’ve told Nicki on a few occasions I’d rather go be a janitor at a church where I can personally sit & be inspired than to continually deal with the same struggles…..

….Do you know what kept me from quitting & continues to keep me from quitting? Sure, this is what God called me to do, but in the Bible God calls people to do stuff all the time & they simply ignore him….you know it, because there’s stuff in your own life you’re not willing to do or willing to give to God because you just don’t want to. You’re “called” to do it, but you just don’t want to do what you’re called to do, so you don’t do it. It wasn’t just because I was called to pastor New Passion. What keeps me from quitting is YOU!

It’s your life change! You’re an encouragement to me. When I hear New Passion was someone’s last chance they were giving church or God; when I hear that the light bulb finally switched on & you finally understood the gospel during a sermon; when I hear someone has spent more of their life outside of church than in it, but God changed them here; when I hear how God worked in your life at New Passion & helped you give up drugs, alcohol, pornography, or some other vice. Your life is a letter of recommendation of the Good News’ power; your life story encourages me & keeps me from giving up, because I see clearly how real it is. (Sermon text: 2 Corinthians 3:2-3)

Fatherless

I started reading, “It’s Better to Build Boys Than Mend Men” by S. Truett Cathy

Chapter One shares these disturbing facts about fatherlessness in the United States:

The Results of Fatherlessness:

The United States is the world’s leader in fatherless homes. The results of our actions, according to the Father’s Manifesto:

  • 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes
  • 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes (I personally see the results of this daily).
  • 80% of rapists motivated with displaced angers come from fatherless homes.
  • 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes
  • 85% of youth in prison grew up in fatherless homes
  • 75% of all adolescent patients in drug treatment centers come from fatherless homes (I personally see this manifest itself in adult males, daily)

Children from Fatherless Homes are:

  • 5 times more likely to commit suicide
  • 32 times more likely to run away
  • 20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders
  • 14 times more likely to commit rape
  • 9 times more likely to drop out of school
  • 10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances
  • 9 times more likely to end up in a state-operated institution
  • 20 times more likely to end up in prison

When we hear or read ‘fatherless’ homes, we tend to assume that there is no father figure in the home, however Truett Cathy points out that many, “children all around us are growing up without strong positive guidance from their parents, who are busy, distracted, absent, or who choose to be buddies instead of parents to their children.” Some fatherless homes are homes with a disengaged father living in them. So, whether the father has left the home or is simply disengaged and still living in the home; a father’s choices and actions make a huge impact on his children.

Truett Cathy makes the following point, “Don’t be too concerned that your children don’t listen to you. But be very concerned that they see everything you do.” Mr. Cathy’s story is one of a disengaged father, but he had a Sunday School teacher that came along and provided a positive, father-like influence in his life that made a huge impact in his life.

In what ways do you as a dad need to engage your children in a positive, Biblical way to impact their future? Do you know of any children that have a disengaged or an absent father in their life that you can influence in a positive, Biblical way as a father-like mentor?

 

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