The “L” in Leadership is Not for “Liar”

There are several things that would disqualify a person from being a leader or at least from being considered a leader, but there are two particular reasons I want to discuss which happen to fall under the same category.

The “L” in Leadership is Not for “Liar”

Lying and/or Deception (which is essentially lying) is one of the top actions to disqualify a person from being a leader. Sure, they may posses a leadership position, but that doesn’t mean they are a leader; no more than my putting a golf ball in an egg carton makes it an egg.

Leadership is the ability to influence people towards a specific vision or goal. When an individual resorts to the art of lying or the use of deception, they are no longer considered a leader, but rather a manipulator (and that’s only if they are able to successfully maneuver people as a result of the lies).

Leadership is the ability to influence people towards a specific vision or goal. The use of lies and deception eliminates the key verb, “influence” in that definition. Lying is not influencing; its the attempt to appease another person (telling them what they want to hear) or its an effort to try and avoid difficult conversations or issues. A leader does not hide from confrontation, he addresses it head on (see Saul vs. Jonathan in 1 Samuel 13-14). A person will also be found resorting to lies and deception when they’re attempting to reach their own goal in a dishonest manner.

  • It could be a supervisor saying what they think an employee wants to hear in order to deceive them into believing they have an opportunity to retain employment when the supervisor’s goal is to keep them employed until the person they really want to work with is available.  Even if the supervisor is able to keep that employee in place until the perfect timing to replace them, the supervisor did not reach this goal through influence, rather by deceiving the current employee that they had an opportunity.
  • It could be a sales manger who promises a salesperson specific rewards or bonuses if they reach a specific sales number and then backtracks on that promise with some type of petty excuse once the salesperson reaches their goal. The sales manager reached their goal of higher sales from their salesperson, but they didn’t use influence, they used lies.
  • It could be a pastor with a specific vision or goal for his church and when facing opposition and friction from his leadership team and/or elders, he pushes harder, lies and deceives to paint a picture of horrible consequences if they do not go along with his idea. Even if the pastor gets his way, he will not have done it through any influence of his own, rather through manipulation.
  • Ditto point #2, just change the person in question with a politician and change the vision for the church to an idea for the country. I think you can figure it out.

Join the conversation: Are you a leader that’s resorted to lying and deception to get your way? Why?

Have you been in an organization where the “leader” above you used lies and deception versus influence to obtain what they wanted? What was the results?

 

 

Chasing Daylight Chapter 4 Thoughts (Part 1)

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Here are the first quotes that have stood out to me so far from Chapter 4 of Chasing Daylight from Erwin McManus. The chapter is titles “Influence.”

  • Manipulation is the use of influence to control others for personal gain. It is the dark side of influence. Manipulation could be described as a relational lie. It is not merely deception in language, but the corruption of trust.
  • While manipulation is inherently evil, influence is the best way to lead and move others toward what is good.
  • A life touched by God always ends in touching others.
  • We have lost confidence in the power of influence, and because of that, we have lost the beauty of its art. The problem with potential power is that while it may control the actions of another human being, it does not capture the heart.

Just being straight up…this chapter has stood out to me so far because I have been in a church environment where the pastor was a master manipulator. I have seen where his manipulation has severely wounded and damaged people, some to the point of no return. I see a pattern in scripture where God was disgusted and angered by the priest in the Old Testament and the Pharisees and Sadducees in the New Testament because they led people away from the love of God versus towards it. Jesus said in Matthew 23 that the Pharisees would travel land and sea to make one convert, only to turn them into twice the sons of hell as they were.

I saw this pastor use his influence to manipulate the sale of a church and its property that people invested years of their life and in some cases “hundreds” of thousands of dollars to see a deceptive vision come to pass. All for nothing, there was no reason for anything that took place. I’ve forgiven this man, but it does not diminish the damage and the hurt caused by the power of manipulation. Erwin is correct…it is the “Dark Side” of influence. My only prayer is that God extends the same amount of mercy and grace in my life as I need it as he has this man. My true prayer is that I live for God in such a way that I never need that much.

Nicki and I were talking the other day about men who have used their influence in the same manner. I told Nicki that if I had as much influence as these people had, I would truly use it to change the world, not to meet a personal agenda. That is my honest desire. I believe the key is when Erwin said, “A life touched by God always ends in touching others!What do you want to use your influence to do?