Tag: Men

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Complimentary Brains

PrintThe battle of the sexes will probably forever exist. Everyone has a position and an opinion. Some believe that men and women are 100% the same, except for in their reproductive parts and therefore are equal in value and worth, and then others believe that men and women are uniquely designed and intrinsically different, even beyond their reproductive parts, but are still equal in value and worth (different but equal).

The battle of the sexes, as we all know, goes beyond the physical make-up and design of men and women into the role men and women should play in society. Please don’t mistake this post for that kind of statement, this is not a statement on the role men and women should play in everyday life.

This online article by the Independent,  shares new scientific evidence that men and women are different, in fact, based on the study results, we are completely wired differently than one another:

“A pioneering study has shown for the first time that the brains of men and women are wired up differently which could explain some of the stereotypical differences in male and female behavior, scientists have said.”

It continues by pointing out that…

Psychological testing has consistently indicated a significant difference between the sexes in the ability to perform various mental tasks, with men outperforming women in some tests and women outperforming men in others. Now there seems to be a physical explanation, scientists said.

So, does an article like this just add fuel to the fire of the ongoing war between the two sexes? Or, does it confirm a view of different but equal?

For me, it reminds me that God is a relational God and he designed both sexes to thrive in relationships; the first being marriage. In Genesis 2:18 we read, ‘Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him,”’ just before creating Eve out of Adam’s rib to give him a companion and a helper.

We like to get caught up on that word “helper” and I believe it honestly has been used by some as a battering ram to devalue women, to abuse them, and to look on them in a slave type mentality. But this article on the brain helps confirm my view that the word helper here is being used in a complimentary way. Simply put, there are just some things, by design, that women do better than men and there are some things, by design, that men do better than women. I believe that God designed us to NEED each other and to compliment each other. Husband and wife, man and woman, provide a unique bond with each other that makes life easier, together. Separate from each other, men and women can function and survive, but life is more difficult as we, all by ourselves, lack the capacity that God has given the other sex which was designed to compliment us. So, instead of battling against each other trying to determine who is better than the other, let’s be thankful for one another and be humble enough to admit that God did not make us superheroes on our own, we need each other.

In closing, I would like to point out two things:

  1. If you read the entire article, you will see for yourself that men, in fact, by design, do not get lost! We are hardwired not to 🙂
  2. I no longer have to feel guilty when I, by design, lack empathy. God gave that talent to my wife and I am so grateful to have her be who I am not 🙂

Join the Conversation…What are your thoughts?

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Fatherless

I started reading, “It’s Better to Build Boys Than Mend Men” by S. Truett Cathy

Chapter One shares these disturbing facts about fatherlessness in the United States:

The Results of Fatherlessness:

The United States is the world’s leader in fatherless homes. The results of our actions, according to the Father’s Manifesto:

  • 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes
  • 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes (I personally see the results of this daily).
  • 80% of rapists motivated with displaced angers come from fatherless homes.
  • 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes
  • 85% of youth in prison grew up in fatherless homes
  • 75% of all adolescent patients in drug treatment centers come from fatherless homes (I personally see this manifest itself in adult males, daily)

Children from Fatherless Homes are:

  • 5 times more likely to commit suicide
  • 32 times more likely to run away
  • 20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders
  • 14 times more likely to commit rape
  • 9 times more likely to drop out of school
  • 10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances
  • 9 times more likely to end up in a state-operated institution
  • 20 times more likely to end up in prison

When we hear or read ‘fatherless’ homes, we tend to assume that there is no father figure in the home, however Truett Cathy points out that many, “children all around us are growing up without strong positive guidance from their parents, who are busy, distracted, absent, or who choose to be buddies instead of parents to their children.” Some fatherless homes are homes with a disengaged father living in them. So, whether the father has left the home or is simply disengaged and still living in the home; a father’s choices and actions make a huge impact on his children.

Truett Cathy makes the following point, “Don’t be too concerned that your children don’t listen to you. But be very concerned that they see everything you do.” Mr. Cathy’s story is one of a disengaged father, but he had a Sunday School teacher that came along and provided a positive, father-like influence in his life that made a huge impact in his life.

In what ways do you as a dad need to engage your children in a positive, Biblical way to impact their future? Do you know of any children that have a disengaged or an absent father in their life that you can influence in a positive, Biblical way as a father-like mentor?

 

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Watch Out for the Devour

Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your Christian brothers and sisters all over the world are going through the same kind of suffering you are. 1 Peter 5:8-9 [Full Context]

I admit, I’ve been on a personal journey to confirm that what I was taught at a younger age is correct and to affirm what I believe Scripture teaches for myself, so I still have ‘Aha!’ moments…a lot! I had a pastor who used to push down people’s throats that the “man of God deserved double honor,” so we were never allowed to question him. Later in life I learned that this statement was pulled out of context. 1 Timothy 5:17 says that an elder who directs the affairs of the church WELL deserves double honor in his compensation, especially those who preach and teach…key word…well, this has nothing to do with questioning an Elder when they have fallen off the reservation!

Anyway, all of that to say, my eyes were opened tonight at 1 Peter 5:8-9. I find it interesting that it is written to “Elders” and “Young Men.” The warning is to “Stay Alert!” that our enemy, the devil, prowls around seeking who he may devour. Sure, this is applicable to all Christians, but it is specifically written to Elders and young men. A friend contacted me this week. She found out that her former pastor has been involved in a sexual affair. I was heartbroken for that man, his family, the church, their people and their leaders. It seems to be coming to the surface more and more. What greater victory could we as pastors and church leaders give Satan than to dishonor God in our calling? To abuse our office? To open ourselves up to devour?

Notice, the verse says, seeking who he may devour…I went through a marriage course by Bruce Wilkerson with my wife. He used the analogy of a traffic light. We all give off a signal. Red light, I’m not available. Green light, I’m looking…I’m open & available! Satan is prowling to see if your light is lit up green, and if it is, you’re open to attack! Pastor, Elder, young man…if you are married, you better be putting off the right signals. It goes beyond sexually too. It’s applicable to any moral and ethical standard that the Bible calls us to.

Pastors are highly competitive people. I wonder what would happen if we stopped looking at each others’ ministries to see what one another is doing and how many we are running, and started devoting ourselves to prayer for one another?

…Stay Alert!

Thought?

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Stronger: A Weekend for Men

stronger

In just a few of hours, 14 men will be piling into cars and driving about three hours up the road for “Stronger: A Weekend for Men.” We are going to a conference that solely focuses on men. I have no idea what to expect from this conference, I’ve never been, in fact to be honest, from the outside, its probably a conference I would typically avoid, but I am trusting the advice and the urging of one of my team members. I hope it’s as good as its been built up to be.

The conference is not called Stronger, but we are calling our weekend Stronger, because that is our goal from this trip. My desire is to see the men of New Passion become Stronger in every area of their lives. The fact is, I am younger than most of the men at our church, therefore instead of speaking into their lives on areas where they probably have had more experience, I feel it is healthy to allow other, older and wiser people do the talking for me. My biggest desire beyond men growing stronger in their personal lives and in their relationships at home and at work, is to see relationships develop with each other here at New Passion.

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What Makes A Real Man?

I want your input!!! I am doing a message at an event this weekend called Warrior 24 with a group of middle school and high school guys. My talk is on what it means to be a REAL MAN. Our theme is STRONGER and our theme verse is Romans 4:20 –

So Join the Conversation about what makes a Real Man!