Tag: relationships

Posted on

Relationship Lessons from Donald Trump

This post is neither for Donald Trump’s candidacy to be President, or against it. This post is simply to highlight important relationship lessons we can learn from Mr. Trump’s campaign; things we can all learn from regardless of political affiliation or who we believe should be the next President.

Mr. Trump has never shied away from speaking his mind and don’t get me wrong, there’s always a place for honesty and definitely a time and place to be brutally honest. I have a feeling any woman Donald Trump has dated and/or married learned quickly it wasn’t a good idea to ask him whether or not an outfit made them look fat.

After the first 2015 Republican primary debate on Fox News, Trump made the following statement to Sean Hannity, “I just want to be treated well and treated with respect.“ Who can argue with that? I think we all have that desire!

  • When it was said Rick Perry, “Put on glasses so people thinks he’s smart”, I imagine Perry desired to be treated well and with respect.
  • When it was said Megyn Kelly was a, “Total Loser”, I imagine Kelly desired to be treated well and with respect.
  • When it was said Erick Erickson was a, “Sleaze and a Bafoon”, I imagine Erickson desired to be treated well and with respect.
  • When it was said, Bette Midler was, “Grotesque”, I imagine Midler desired to be treated well and with respect.
  • I’m sure when all of the people who have been called clowns, zeroes, dumb, and the like, they desired to be treated well and with respect.

Donald Trump KissingDonald Trump (@realDonaldTrump), who only wants to be treated well and with respect, made each of those insults and that’s not even half the people he’s made negative and disparaging comments about since kicking off his presidential campaign. His detractors may say, “Amen, he deserves what he gets,” while his supporters may say each of those people got what they deserved because of the way they treated him, questioned him, or spoke about him. But what is it we can learn from all parties involved in these wars of words? How can Donald Trump influence our relationships so they become absolutely great, healthy, and the best they can be?

  1. No One Wins, Returning Disrespect with More Disrespect – We’ve all done it and that’s why we know it’s true. Maybe you didn’t like your spouse’s tone, so you replied with an ugly tone yourself. Maybe someone shot a mean comment your way, so you returned fire. How did that turn out? It definitely didn’t lead our relationship with the other person forward. When such behavior is put on public display, you have to wonder whether or not Mr. Trump and/or those who are participating in the mud slinging actually have close friends, or if those closest to them are only there because they somehow benefit personally. When their default behavior is to return disrespect with more disrespect, especially to those they barely know, one would have to wonder if that happens in their more private relationships as well. Peter told us in 1 Peter 3:9, “Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you.…” Healthy relationships are shaped through mercy (not giving someone what they deserve).
  2. You Win, Returning Respect for Disrespect – This is hard to do, but it is doable. Healthy relationships are shaped through grace (giving someone what they don’t deserve). Grace rebuilds their bridge even though you didn’t burn it down. Peter continued his wisdom in 1 Peter 3:9 when he told us, “Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing.” As we share life with other people, at some point we will find ourselves struggling with the need to control and that’s where grace gets tough. We may return respect for disrespect, but what will the other person do? We can’t control other people, but we win, personally, because God grants us His blessings when we do so.
    [tweetthis]Grace rebuilds their bridge even though you didn’t burn it down.[/tweetthis]
  3. Both Honesty and Humility – You will not hear me criticize Donald Trump for saying what needs to be said on issues that face our country. I believe being honesty is honorable and I believe we should all use our voices to speak out on the evils that affect our world. Peter instructed us to “turn away from evil and do good”, therefore we have a responsibility to personally turn away from evil, but also to point out evil so others will also recognize it and turn away. However, honesty loses its honor when not accompanied by humility. A humble attitude can be very difficult to maintain, especially when you’re super successful, you don’t feel you need anyone else’s opinion. You start making your own headlines and then start believing them. This is why we were challenged to strive for unity, extend sympathy, to love one another, possess a tender heart, and fight for humility and peace.

[tweetthis]Honesty loses its honor when not accompanied by humility[/tweetthis]

Donald Trump may not be your choice for President, but he can still teach us valuable life lessons.

Join the conversation, what else can we learn from Trump or others to help us have healthier, stronger relationships?

 

 

Posted on

When Relationships Trump Ego – A Lebron James Story

lebronjames_150hgt I was happy when the Lebron James decision came last night. I couldn’t even turn on the news without seeing a report about it or being told to go to their website to answer their poll on where I thought he would go. Now, here I am diving into the conversation. Just to get it out there, I didn’t think LeBron would stay in Cleveland, I was leaning towards New York, after all, that’s what everyone has been talking about for two years now. After all, that’s what was going to be the best for Lebron’s brand, his bank account, and his ego.

Okay, great, that’s out of the way….

With every athlete there is an ego. I personally didn’t think Lebron’s television “Decision” on ESPN was the best decision. In fact, I thought it was quite egotistical, a little self-centered. I had a slight change of heart when I found out proceeds from the television performance was going to the Boys and Girls Club of America.

dewaynewade_150hgtI also had a change of heart in Lebron’s choice from last night to this morning. When Lebron mentioned that he was going to South Beach in Miami, I at first wanted to tweet that he would never be seen in the same light at Michael Jordan, even if he did win multiple championships, I still believe that, but that’s the point of my change of heart.

I read an article on ESPN from Bill Simmons about a pact that Lebron James, Dewayne Wade, Chris Bosh and Chris Paul made two years ago. In the article Bill reports that the four players made a pact that they would all play with each other in a single city one day. It has been widely reported all over the media that Wade, James, and Bosh are all good friends and in the end, I have no doubt that is what made the final decision for Lebron.

I find it interesting that most of the outrage surrounds the decision by Lebron to go to Miami, however, the fact is, it is requiring a huge sacrifice on his part to attempt to win a championship. After all, that’s what professional sports are all about, winning championships. Lebron hurts his brand, he sacrifices his ego, and he sacrificed a lot of money (although Florida’s no state income tax may have helped there too). Chris Bosh and Dewayne Wade are also sacrificing many of the same things that Lebron is sacrificing, all to play with each other and to win a championship. That’s truly unheard of with All-Star athletes.

chrisbosh_150hgtThe media questions why things are progressing the way they are with the ego and selfishness of professional athletes, yet, we feed it. I think a majority of people who followed the Lebron situation wanted him to make a choice that would “benefit” him the most. Even his entourage advised him not to go to Miami because of the things he would be sacrificing. Instead of celebrating an athlete that would give his television proceeds to the Boys and Girls Club, sacrifice at least 30 million dollars in salary, sacrifice his legacy as a player that could win a championship in a “cursed” city and be the “leader” of the team; we make him the black sheep. We would rather celebrate greed and self-centeredness over sacrifice and selflessness.

I am sure there are plenty of things that we can fault Lebron on and I can definitely understand Cleveland’s hurt and pain with Lebron leaving, however, the fact is, this is a business and Lebron has to make the best decision as someone who is employeed in the industry. I am sure his decision was tough, but in the end, I think relationships trumped ego and that is at least one lesson that should be taught to our kids and at least one thing that should be praised throughout this situation.

Posted on

Velocity 2010 – Pete Wilson

petewilson-buttonVelocity 2010 Church Planter’s Conference

Breakout #2 Speaker: Pete Wilson (Twitter)

“Everyone’s Welcome, Nobody’s Perfect, Anything is Possible”

Churches Desiring Transformational Community –

Studies Show:

  • One thing that separates happy people from unhappy people is the simple idea of being connected in community.
  • The level of satisfaction in churches is determined by the level of community experienced.

Someone said…”I’ve never known anyone who has failed to love & succeeded at life.”

Genesis 2:18 “It is not good for man to be alone.”

You were created with the capacity for deep relationships

Develop a Philosophy of community before you develop a Strategy of community.
(What is the Heart behind the strategy?)

*Your Church MUST understand that Everybody is Welcome.

Luke 15:2 But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, “This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.”

Romans 13:8

* Has your church created environments where people can belong before they believe?

Some Church Models = Believe, Belong, Behave

Church Models adapting to Current Culture = Behave, Belong, Believe
(It may be that people enter your church by participating in a church service event for the community rather  than through the Sunday morning Worship Service)

Your Church Must Accept that Nobody is Perfect.

Matthew 7:1

Luke 18:10-12

The sins you find the most appalling to God are the ones you don’t struggle with.

Your Church Must Believe Anything is Possible.

It’s the church’s job to create environments where we help people discover their new name.

Secular businesses & organizations understand that “Everyone is Welcome” and that “Nobody is Perfect” – There is nothing overtly “Christian” about that. The church has to believe in addition that “Anything is Possible!”

If our churches are a true “Just As I Am Churches” – We would not be able to put out enough chairs for the people who would come and we could not plant enough churches.

Velocity Conference: Main Session 1 Highlights – – Main Session 2 Highlights – – Main Session 3 Highlights – – Main Session 4 Highlights – – Breakout Session 3 with Tony Morgan Highlights – – Main Session 6 Highlights

Posted on

Stronger: A Weekend for Men

stronger

In just a few of hours, 14 men will be piling into cars and driving about three hours up the road for “Stronger: A Weekend for Men.” We are going to a conference that solely focuses on men. I have no idea what to expect from this conference, I’ve never been, in fact to be honest, from the outside, its probably a conference I would typically avoid, but I am trusting the advice and the urging of one of my team members. I hope it’s as good as its been built up to be.

The conference is not called Stronger, but we are calling our weekend Stronger, because that is our goal from this trip. My desire is to see the men of New Passion become Stronger in every area of their lives. The fact is, I am younger than most of the men at our church, therefore instead of speaking into their lives on areas where they probably have had more experience, I feel it is healthy to allow other, older and wiser people do the talking for me. My biggest desire beyond men growing stronger in their personal lives and in their relationships at home and at work, is to see relationships develop with each other here at New Passion.

Posted on

A Stepping Stone

stonestairs
Friday night, we had our first annual adult Christmas party for New Passion Church. I believe it was a major stepping stone for our church and that this one little party could serve as a huge turning point for us.

I believe relationships are the key to success in any church and in any ministry. I remember starting small groups in our student ministry at a former church. I believed in creating smaller environments where our growing group of students could be known and cared for. It worked. I remember our high school group starting in Billy’s 3 bedroom apartment. We had 4 and 5 groups meeting in that one apartment. We utilized bedrooms, the living room, the kitchen…anywhere we could fit kids, we did it.

They were successful. I believe for several reasons. Students felt like they were involved, they found out that there were caring adults who were genuinely concerned for them, and they grew spiritually. I think this environment made it comfortable for students to invite their friends, therefore we grew even more.

I saw some great chemistry on Friday night. Wives who literally just met were standing around talking as if they were friends for 18 years. People who literally come through the doors of the school where we meet, drop their kid off, attend service, pick their kid up, and leave for home (in that specific order) were able to stop for a little while and interact with our team and with other people from the church. There was a lot of smiles and a lot of laughter. It was a great night. Sunday rolled around and some of those same people who are in and out of the church in a flash, slowed down just a little bit and enjoyed conversation with some of their new friends from the church. There was a buzz surrounding our Community Groups which will be kicking off on January 10, 2010.

I believe healthy relationships are a key ingredient to a healthy church, and I believe Friday night’s party helped add that ingredient to New Passion Church…I can’t wait to see what happens once our groups get off the ground. New Passion will be an unstoppable force! I guarantee it 🙂

npcchristmasparty