Cold Fries

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There’s nothing like fresh, hot, crispy, and perfectly salted, golden french fries!

I recently went to a restaurant and ordered a meal that included fries. As soon as I received my meal, I noticed my fries didn’t look fresh, hot, crispy, or golden. The whole order looked cold,  flimsy, and brown.

I touched one. It felt stale and was lukewarm at best.

I tried one. It tasted like it looked.

I tried a second, just to make sure. It was the same outcome.

I was disappointed at the order of fries I was given and my immediate thoughts were, “I’m not going to enjoy these fries.” And, “I better eat them quickly before they get completely cold.” I even looked through them to see if I could pick out the “best” looking fries and just eat those.

I was going to settle for mediocre.

I had my reasons: I didn’t want to be “that” customer….the complaining customer. I didn’t want them thinking I let my own fries get cold, but then expected them to give me a fresh order (although this was less than 2 minutes after receiving the fries), I didn’t want to have to wait longer to receive new fries. I had reasons to settle and probably could have come up with even more excuses….reasons to settle for the poor quality.

Nicki and I used to watch Hell’s Kitchen on Fox. On the show two teams of chefs competed against each other; each chef hoping to win the championship as the top overall chef. Eventually the contestants were dismissed from the show if they were the weak link on the losing team. I noticed something small within the show that has significant value. The Master Chef, Gordon Ramsey, would typically be the last eyes on the plates leaving the kitchen. If the plate didn’t reflect the quality he expected from a high scale restaurant, he rejected it and made the team start over on that dish. It would set the team back in their competition, but it also taught a valuable lesson, one my dad taught me growing up, “Do the job right the first time!”

While it’s easy to point out that the restaurant allowed poor quality food to leave their kitchen; or point out that the poor quality reflects their standards for what they allow to represent them as an organization. I have to equally look at myself and own up to how easily I was willing to settle for mediocre. I paid for something, but was going to accept less than what I paid for. Instead of expecting high quality I was going to settle for poor quality.

As a leader, I know there are times I have settled for mediocrity and allowed my church or other work teams to do the same; it’s something that I have to actively fight against.

Everyone is not willing to settle for mediocre, even if we are. If you’re the leader of an organization, any organization, this should be a sobering reality. Just because you’re willing to settle for mediocrity doesn’t mean your customer, client, or congregant is willing to settle, or will settle.

[tweetthis]Everyone is not willing to settle for mediocre, even if we are.[/tweetthis]

Why do leaders settle for serving people cold fries?

Why do leaders allow medicority? Why are we okay with our organization & those who represent our organization offering poor quality and less than our best?

Here are a few reasons why we settle and what we need to avoid:

  1. Convenience:

It’s much easier on the front-end to ignore the cold, brown fries. “Maybe the customer won’t notice or won’t care. It’s easier to serve what’s in front of me than do a little bit of extra work to give my customer the best!”

  • Hopefully they’ll settle for our mediocre children’s environment
  • Hopefully they won’t run into one of our unfriendly, cold employees or volunteers
  • Hopefully they won’t mind the bad & out-of-tune music
  • Hopefully they won’t care our products are cheap, but overpriced
  • Hopefully they will ignore our clutter and disorganization

It’s more convenient to serve cold fries than it is to take 3-minutes to cook a fresh order. It’s a gamble, but you come out on top if the customer doesn’t complain, right? But, if you gamble and lose and the customer isn’t willing to settle, it still requires the same amount of work on the back-end to make things right, but only after the customer’s perception of you and your organization takes a negative hit.

It’s convenient and easier to overlook areas of weakness, poor quality, tension, and mediocrity  that needs addressing or correcting on the front-end, but when those things aren’t accepted by those you’re trying to reach, you won’t just have to make up ground to correct the problem, you’ll have to make up ground to restore the negative perception and reputation of your organization (and those who represent it).

The bigger issue isn’t a willingness to settle for mediocrity to hopefully save a few minutes of work on the front-end. It’s never just one incident that causes your team a few minutes of time and effort. The bigger issue is the culture and values of the organization. These are never one time issues; these issues reflect what the organization and its leaders are willing to accept and tolerate. It reflects what your company or church values. Where the organization must spend the most time and effort on the front-end is not cooking fresh, hot fries. They must invest the most time and effort instilling the organization’s values. If the organization values excellence and desires a culture of excellence where each team member offers God and their people (clients/customers/etc) their very best, it will require inconvenience on the front-end to teach and train their team to reflect those values in even the most mundane, daily routines.

Don’t compromise for the sake of convenience! The cost to your organization’s reputation is more than you may be willing to pay.

  1. Lack of Awareness:

Who likes having to be the complaining customer? No one I know. Sometimes people won’t tell you about their experience with your organization. We don’t always hear the complaints or the concerns verbalized to us so we can make the necessary changes. When your organization settles for mediocre, there’s a chance people won’t give you feedback about it. They won’t bring the cold, flimsy fries to your attention, but they will definitely express their displeasure. They will definitely remember their experience and they will either approve or disapprove of that experience with their feet. They’ll either approve by returning to your church or business, or they will disapprove by finding a place that doesn’t settle for poor quality, especially when it’s in your power to fix it.

The question we have to ask ourselves is, “Am I even aware of the quality my organization offers people?” My fries didn’t become cold, flimsy, and brown when they touched my table. The cook could have paid attention & noticed their condition. The lady who brought the food to my table could have paid attention and noticed the poor quality. Both of these employees could have been empowered to see a problem and be proactive to fix it. Either one of them could have said, “That doesn’t reflect our standards and it doesn’t represent the quality our restaurant promises our customers, let me fix that before it gets to the customer!” Instead the cold, brown fries passed through two sets of eyes from people who were okay with mediocrity.

We can’t rely on our customers to tell us where we are settling for mediocrity. We have to be aware of our own organization and we have to be proactive to fix what needs fixing.

What do you see in your organization? Can you see the areas where you or your team is settling for mediocrity? Do you see the areas where you have challenges? Or, are you so ingrained and familiar with your surroundings that you’re oblivious to the things that need improvement? After a while, brown fries look like fries; cold fries look like fries; flimsy fries look like fries, you can’t see the difference. Problems, challenges, and tensions are forgotten because they’ve always been there and they’re familiar now. If you’re having a hard time seeing what your organization is serving, try asking your customers for feedback. Ask a trusted friend from outside the organization to pay a visit with fresh eyes and an outsiders perspective to give you honest and constructive feedback. Don’t overlook what you offer people or you may find they overlook your organization.

[tweetthis]Don’t overlook what you offer people or you may find they overlook your organization[/tweetthis]

  1. Calm over Turbulence: 

Nicki and I went on our very first cruise for our 10th anniversary. Since I had never been on a cruise I didn’t know what to expect. After boarding the ship, we sat out on the top deck when suddenly I realized we were no longer at the dock and had moved quite a distance from where we boarded. The boat was so smooth I couldn’t even tell it was moving. That calmness didn’t last long. It seemed as soon as we lost sight of land the waters got more turbulent and the ship no longer moved peacefully. The boat rocked and we could feel it!

We heard several experienced cruisers say the waters were abnormally rough. Let’s be honest, no one likes being on a ship in the middle of the ocean when it’s rocking in rough waters. No one likes to be on an airplane 30,000 feet in the air during rough turbulence. As much as I would have preferred calm waters, we learned it was necessary to go through some turbulence to get to the crystal clear tropical beaches of the Bahamas, St.Thomas, and St. Maarten.

It may be more convenient and comfortable to not rock the boat so you can stay in calm waters, but that’s not always possible. As leaders, we have to keep our destination in mind and play the long game. Where are we trying to get as an organization? To get our organization and team to our desired destination, we may have to go through turbulent waters to get there. We have to be willing to address issues that are preventing us from getting to our destination. We may have to be willing to tackle tension, strengthen weaknesses, and confront conflict to get our organization to the place where its serving quality rather than mediocrity.

[tweetthis remove_twitter_handles=”true”]To get our organization and team to our desired destination, we may have to go through turbulent waters to get there[/tweetthis]

You may be a mid-level team member with little to no authority, but if you know the ship’s destination and you see an iceberg in the way, you have to be willing to alert the right people to the iceberg, or no one gets to the desired destination. Eventually you all go down on a sinking ship.

You can’t always get to where you’re going by staying in calm waters. You may have to take a risk by telling the manager that the fries are flimsy and cold. It may rock the boat for some, but in the end everyone gets to the same destination, if they can navigate through the necessary rough waters, together.

As a consumer, I didn’t settle for mediocre. I requested fresh fries. My new order was fresh, hot, and delicious! The restaurant recovered and corrected the problem. We don’t always get this opportunity. As a leader, put the work in up front and make sure your team knows your organization’s values and culture so you don’t settle for mediocre.

A Few Thoughts Following the Death of Robin Williams

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Just a few of thoughts I wanted to share, following the death of Robin Williams. Take them as you will.

Really, it’s okay to honor a man who we welcomed into our homes for over 30 years to entertain us, make us laugh, and bring a little bit of happiness to what can be a stressful, broken and sometimes sad world. Yes, there are millions of people who suffer from mental illness and who have died by suicide. No, we do not interrupt our regularly scheduled programming with breaking news to alert the world of their death. Why don’t we do this? Because we didn’t pay for matinees, a coke and popcorn to be entertained by their goofiness or to laugh at their jokes and antics. We didn’t rent their VHS’ and eventually their DVDs, or tune in to their TBS all day marathons. Does this make them any less important or valuable as people? Absolutely not! It just makes Robin Williams and others like him, different, and that’s okay. It seems like every time someone famous dies and are celebrated by the fans who enjoyed their art and craft reminisce about their life, the uptight purists start trying to guilt everyone else for honoring them while the millions who have died like them go unmentioned. Robin Williams was famous, worldwide, for more than three decades and though many of his fans never met him or knew him personally, they shared a connection to him through his characters. Do the millions actually go unnoticed though? When anyone receives a call about the death of a family member or friend, it interrupts all planned activities, it brings our world to a halting stop. Do these supposedly ‘unmentioned’ people not have funerals and memorials where their friends, family, churches, and communities remember them and honor their life? I believe it is safe to say that the celebration of life for those ‘unmentioned’ people, who are so often used as pawns for the drivers of guilt, is as big as their life was. As much as anyone is known, loved, and appreciated, they are missed in equal proportions, if not greater. Robin Williams was not perfect, we all know that, but he was known, loved and appreciated by many and therefore the mourning of his death and the celebration of his life is expressed by many.  So, if you need permission, here you go….Celebrate the life of great people who have brought happiness into your life and impacted for the good.

Complimentary Brains

PrintThe battle of the sexes will probably forever exist. Everyone has a position and an opinion. Some believe that men and women are 100% the same, except for in their reproductive parts and therefore are equal in value and worth, and then others believe that men and women are uniquely designed and intrinsically different, even beyond their reproductive parts, but are still equal in value and worth (different but equal).

The battle of the sexes, as we all know, goes beyond the physical make-up and design of men and women into the role men and women should play in society. Please don’t mistake this post for that kind of statement, this is not a statement on the role men and women should play in everyday life.

This online article by the Independent,  shares new scientific evidence that men and women are different, in fact, based on the study results, we are completely wired differently than one another:

“A pioneering study has shown for the first time that the brains of men and women are wired up differently which could explain some of the stereotypical differences in male and female behavior, scientists have said.”

It continues by pointing out that…

Psychological testing has consistently indicated a significant difference between the sexes in the ability to perform various mental tasks, with men outperforming women in some tests and women outperforming men in others. Now there seems to be a physical explanation, scientists said.

So, does an article like this just add fuel to the fire of the ongoing war between the two sexes? Or, does it confirm a view of different but equal?

For me, it reminds me that God is a relational God and he designed both sexes to thrive in relationships; the first being marriage. In Genesis 2:18 we read, ‘Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him,”’ just before creating Eve out of Adam’s rib to give him a companion and a helper.

We like to get caught up on that word “helper” and I believe it honestly has been used by some as a battering ram to devalue women, to abuse them, and to look on them in a slave type mentality. But this article on the brain helps confirm my view that the word helper here is being used in a complimentary way. Simply put, there are just some things, by design, that women do better than men and there are some things, by design, that men do better than women. I believe that God designed us to NEED each other and to compliment each other. Husband and wife, man and woman, provide a unique bond with each other that makes life easier, together. Separate from each other, men and women can function and survive, but life is more difficult as we, all by ourselves, lack the capacity that God has given the other sex which was designed to compliment us. So, instead of battling against each other trying to determine who is better than the other, let’s be thankful for one another and be humble enough to admit that God did not make us superheroes on our own, we need each other.

In closing, I would like to point out two things:

  1. If you read the entire article, you will see for yourself that men, in fact, by design, do not get lost! We are hardwired not to 🙂
  2. I no longer have to feel guilty when I, by design, lack empathy. God gave that talent to my wife and I am so grateful to have her be who I am not 🙂

Join the Conversation…What are your thoughts?

Why Does My Child ALWAYS Respond with, “Good”?

We’ve all been there. The kids climb into the car as we pick them up from school and our immediate question for them is, “how was your day at school?” And it seems to never fail, everyday, year-after-year we get the same response, “good.”

In his book, It’s Better to Build Boys than Mend Men, S. Truett Cathy addresses this predicament that all parents face almost daily:

I’ve read surveys that show how little time parents spend with their children, and I wonder how they expect to build relationships in just a few minutes a day. Many parents, including folks who work at Chick-fil-A, have a shortage of time with their families. That’s one reason why we close all of our restaurants on Sunday, so that families can be guaranteed at least one day a week together.

Knowing that time is tight and that you have only a few years to make the strongest positive impact on your children, don’t spend your precious family days on the golf course or watching sports on television all afternoon. Don’t consider watching TV with your children to be “quality time.” You may be in the same room, buy you’re not together. Participate in activities with your children. Play games together. Seek opportunities to be with them on their turf. Volunteer to coach their sports team, lead their Scout troop, or teach their Sunday school class.

Then communicate. But don’t expect them to share their feelings on your schedule. You have to wait patiently. When our children were young and I came home from work, I’d ask. “How are things?” They’d say, “Good.” And that was the end of the conversation.

I learned that when you talk to children, a conversation won’t happen when it’s convenient for you but when it’s convenient for them. You never call a child in and then say, “Well, let’s talk.” The child won’t have anything to say. But if you’re around children long enough, they’ll open up and start to share their problems or opportunities. When they do, you’d better stop whatever you’re doing to listen because the opportunity may not come around again for a while.

One weekend when our daughter, Trudy, was home from college, she told me, “Dad, the thing I remember most about you are the times you sat at my bedside and let me tell you all the things I did that day.” All the possessions we had shared with her-clothes, a car, a nice house to grow up in-were secondary to those times we spent together at bedtime talking.

Join the conversation…what has been your experience with engaging your child into conversation?

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One in Fifty US Children Homeless

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I saw this story today…

One of every 50 American children experiences homelessness, according to a new report that says most states have inadequate plans to address the worsening and often-overlooked problem.

The report being released Tuesday by the National Center on Family Homelessness gives Connecticut the best ranking. Texas is at the bottom.

“These kids are the innocent victims, yet it seems somehow or other they get left out,” said the center’s president, Dr. Ellen Bassuk. “Why are they America’s outcasts?” [Read Entire Story Here]

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