Why We Don’t Beg People to Stay

I have a firm rule as a pastor. I DO NOT beg (or ask) people to stay at New Passion.

I’ve always had my reasons why, but this verse, though simple, is very profound, I couldn’t have said it better myself…

These people left our churches, but they never really belonged with us; otherwise they would have stayed with us. When they left, it proved that they did not belong with us. 1 John 2:19

Here are a few of my (personal) reasons…

1. Protection – Jesus warned against false prophets who come in the church dressed as one of the sheep, but are as vicious wolves on the inside (Matthew 7:15). I believe this verse can be extended beyond “prophets” to those who would prey on the flock God has entrusted into my leadership and the leadership of the other church leaders. It is my responsibility to care for this flock that Jesus entrusted to me (1 Peter 5:2Care for the flock that God has entrusted to you. Watch over it willingly…“)

    Why do “wolves” prey on the flock?
  • Sexual Gain – There are people who’ll infiltrate the church to manipulate members of the opposite sex for sexual gain.
  • Financial Gain – There are people, especially in businesses who rely on sales, marketing, and networking who will infiltrate the church to prey on others financially to build their own businesses and to profit personally from the people within the church. This is one of the reasons the “rich” and “successful” people flock to the largest churches in town, it’s good for business because there’s more people to “befriend.” And we all know that’s why Jesus established His church.
  • Wicked Intentions – The fact is…there are evil people in this world and they have wicked intentions (whatever category they fall in). You are not going to convert a wolf into a vegetarian. Their nature is to devour meat. A “spiritual” wolf’s nature is to produce wickedness. Their goal is to cause chaos and destruction in the church. As Matt Chandler once asked, [paraphrased] “Would you dip your kids in blood and allow them to play with wolves?” “So why would we be okay with wolves hanging around our flock?

2. Preferences – The fact is, everyone has different preferences when it comes to church, and New Passion is not for everyone. We understand that and we are okay with that. Some people like chocolate ice cream, others prefer vanilla, while smart people (like me) choose strawberry. An Italian came along one day and decided he’d put all three together and it became known as “Neapolitan” Ice Cream. This would later become the blueprint for the church that offers a little bit of everything for everyone with a traditional service, contemporary service, Sunday School, and Small Groups. That’s okay for them, but it’s not for us. Our style is modern. Some people like a traditional style of worship or even a more toned down contemporary style. We know that people are going to come check us out and not everyone will be looking for what we are offering. That’s okay! It would be pointless to try and beg people to stay in an environment that they are uncomfortable with.

3. Prompting – Bottom-line, God leads people away from ministries in order to use them in other places. To try  and convince people to “stay” with your ministry is selfish and could serve as potential confusion for those trying to discern the still small voice of God that is prompting them to serve in another capacity within another ministry. This is usually easy to recognize because these people will be faithful servants already serving or attempting to serve in the church where God placed them for that season. Some people will use this as an excuse to make it easier to leave because they fear confrontation and it’s pretty easy to discern, because they aren’t really faithfully serving in the present where they are at. Let them go! If we have someone who is faithfully serving, but feels God is prompting them to move to another ministry, we will do our very best to support them and pray for them as God uses them in a new capacity.

    I was never the guy that dated a girl, broke up, dated again, broke up, dated again, etc, etc. I just didn’t see the point. I’ve been a part of churches where people would go to the leadership and announce that they felt it was time they found another church and through various forms of manipulation and “new” positions and jobs within the church, they would feel guilty and stay. In the end, the results were the same, but they spent several more months in misery. The reality is, no one can give me a single reason why any church or leader or pastor should beg anyone to stay…..yeah I didn’t think so.

    If you start the habit of babying people, you have to keep it up! If you beg people to stay because they are big givers, well, then I believe you are a faithless, hireling, and people’s money will always control you.

    Anyway, I would love to hear your thoughts on the matter. This is solely my personal opinion :)

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    Stay in the Boat by Judah Smith

    This is the message by Judah Smith from the New Spring Leadership Conference I attended several weeks ago. The actual title was “Matters of the Meantime” but the overarching theme of the message was “Stay in the Boat.” I was following Judah on Twitter, but I had never heard one of his messages. I was kind of blown away by his attire, I had never seen a man wear leotard before (okay they were skinny, skinny jeans), but he preaches the Word with boldness and blew me away with his message, so he can wear leotards if he wants :)

    Check out more videos from the New Spring Leadership Conference.

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    God, Hurry Up!

    I loved today’s entry from Oswald Chambers. I find myself too often wanting God to hurry up and fulfill the vision he’s given me, whether it be for my family, for my church, or for myself personally. I’ve had a new hunger and longing lately, one that I’ve never had before and today, I think I see that it is God getting me into shape for the goal he has for me. I’ve heard similar things from some of our New Passion team. They are longing for God to show up in a fresh and powerful way; first personally then corporately. I’m excited that God has us on the same page and I cannot wait (although he wants me to wait) to see God continue to unfold his plan in us and through us.

    Check out the devotional from today:

    Visions Become Reality

    The parched ground shall become a pool . . . Isaiah 35:7

    We always have a vision of something before it actually becomes real to us. When we realize that the vision is real, but is not yet real in us, Satan comes to us with his temptations, and we are inclined to say that there is no point in even trying to continue. Instead of the vision becoming real to us, we have entered into a valley of humiliation.

    Life is not as idle ore,
    But iron dug from central gloom,
    And battered by the shocks of doom
    To shape and use.

    God gives us a vision, and then He takes us down to the valley to batter us into the shape of that vision. It is in the valley that so many of us give up and faint. Every God-given vision will become real if we will only have patience. Just think of the enormous amount of free time God has! He is never in a hurry. Yet we are always in such a frantic hurry. While still in the light of the glory of the vision, we go right out to do things, but the vision is not yet real in us. God has to take us into the valley and put us through fires and floods to batter us into shape, until we get to the point where He can trust us with the reality of the vision. Ever since God gave us the vision, He has been at work. He is getting us into the shape of the goal He has for us, and yet over and over again we try to escape from the Sculptor’s hand in an effort to batter ourselves into the shape of our own goal.

    The vision that God gives is not some unattainable castle in the sky, but a vision of what God wants you to be down here. Allow the Potter to put you on His wheel and whirl you around as He desires. Then as surely as God is God, and you are you, you will turn out as an exact likeness of the vision. But don’t lose heart in the process. If you have ever had a vision from God, you may try as you will to be satisfied on a lower level, but God will never allow it.

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    Ten Signs a Leader Is “Losing It!” By Perry Noble

    perry-noble1Ten Signs a Leader Is “Losing It!”

    By Perry Noble

    My friend Latasha posted a link on Facebook to Perry Noble’s blog post from earlier today. This post is 100% spot on. Perry absolutely nailed it. If you have ever experienced a leader who has “lost it,” you’ll easily recognize these ten signs. Most importantly, these serve as a warning sign to each of us as leaders, when our ministries or organization become more about us and more about our success than Jesus’, these signs will start popping up in our own lives. I believe when this happens, we either have a choice to repent and turn from these ways or hide them and continue to pretend that we’re making it about Jesus, when in reality, it’s all about us. Check the ten signs out:

    I’ve been reading through the OT lately and have been challenged by the downward leadership spiral that Saul went on…here are TEN signs from his life that point to a leader “losing it.”

    #1 – The ministry he leads moves from being about the name of God to the name of the leader. (Compare I Samuel 14:35 with I Samuel 15:12!)

    #2 – He gets impatient with the process that God is taking him through and thereby tries to “make something happen” rather than waiting on God’s timing. (I Samuel 15:5-10)

    #3 – He makes self centered leadership decisions that slow down the people he works with rather than empowering them. (I Samuel 15:24-notice the references to himself in this verse.)

    #4 – He refuses to completely obey God because it places him in uncomfortable situation. (I Samuel 15:1-9)

    #5 – He allows fear of man to trump his fear of God. (I Samuel 15:24)

    Click Here to go to Perry’s original post to read signs 6-10

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    How Did Jesus Lead?

    leader_colored-peopleWe had our first PassionKidz meeting last night to start a conversation about our next steps in our Children’s Worship Environment at New Passion. We opened the night looking at 4 ways Jesus led His movement while on Earth, check them out, and then join the conversation by adding your thoughts:

    1. Jesus Mobilized (Mark 1:17) Jesus called out to them, “Come, follow me…
    Jesus invited others to join him on his mission. At New Passion, that is part of having a passionate relationship with Jesus. When we are passionate about the things Jesus is passionate about, we’ll do the things Jesus did. One of the ways we aim to increase our partners in ministry is to invite others to be a part of what Jesus is doing. Relationships are the key. We want to start by inviting those we are the closest to.

    2. Jesus Taught (Mark 1:17) “…and I will show you how to fish for people!
    Jesus didn’t call the fishermen to come join him on his mission so he could throw them to the wolves (or the Pharisees) to be eaten alive. Jesus called them and said he would show them how to fulfill this mission. I think too often the church finds someone who breathes oxygen and has blood running through their veins and thinks they found a solution to their volunteer problems. The church must be about equipping its leaders and volunteers to fulfill the mission Jesus has them on. Our goal at NPC is to equip and teach our people, so we are all running together.

    3. Jesus Empowered (Mark 6:7) “And he [Jesus] called his twelve disciples together and began sending them out two by two, giving them authority
    Jesus had a specific mission he was here to fulfill, but part of that mission did not include him staying here physically to fulfill every role himself. He empowered and trusted the people he mobilized to join him to carry the mission out. He gave them all the authority they needed to accomplish the mission he called them to. I think the deadliest problem in the church today is “leaders” who micromanage every detail of the church. They have to know everything that’s happening and they have to have their fingerprints on it. Jesus gave his people the ability to carry out his mission without standing beside them holding their hand…and yes…they failed and they messed up…but he kept teaching them and preparing them for the day they would not have him. At New Passion we desire to empower our leaders & volunteers to fulfill the role we entrust to them.

    4. Jesus Reproduced (Matthew 28:19, 20) “…Go and make disciplesTeach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you.
    Jesus told the disciples to Go and make disciples. When we make a baby, we reproduce ourselves. Jesus had already reproduced himself into the life of the disciples, he now was telling them to go and reproduce him [Jesus] into the life of others. He said, “Teach these new disciples…” He didn’t tell them to bring the disciples back to him so he could teach them, he told his reproduction to continue to reproduce. Once again, it goes back to Jesus empowering his followers. At New Passion, we hope our people become so passionate about the mission Jesus has called us to and our vision of leading people to a passionate relationship with Jesus, that they cannot help but reproduce themselves into the life of the people around them. Life change produces life change…and that’s how God will use NPC to change the world. Life Change.

    Join the Conversation…What’s Your Additional Thoughts?

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    Revolutionary Change through Water

    blake-mankinI visited Iamsecond.com today thanks to my friend Dan who tweeted about a video for Sam Bradford from the Oklahoma Sooners. As I was surfing around the site, I found a video for Blake Mankin. Honestly, I’ve never heard of him, but keeping with Sunday’s theme from New Passion and Monday’s blog post on Revolutionary Change through our local and global influence, I liked what I heard. Here’s a little bit about Blake…

    In 2007, Blake started Hope for Africa at his school. The club raised more than $6,000 by selling buttons during homecoming. The money paid for two wells in Southern Sudan that now provides more than 10,000 people with daily access to clean water.

    It all started with Blake asking a friend “What If?” – I wonder how many people are creating revolutionary change around the world because of those two words? “What If?” – I love that Blake said he believes “Jesus is the Ultimate Thirst Quencher.” Blake is not driven for change based on a desire for personal fame, rather he is out to create revolutionary change so that Jesus might be made known to those who are far from him.

    Go check watch Blake’s video on Iamsecond.com HERE. You can also follow Blake on Twitter HERE. You can help Blake create Revolutionary Change through Water HERE by donating to his fundraiser!

    Join the Conversation…Who do you know that’s creating revolutionary change either locally or globally?

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    Reproducing as a Small Group

    This is my second article that I’ve submitted for the Small Group Exchange Website

    leonardoWhen I was in third grade I had an alter-ego. As soon as the lights went out for bedtime in the Carnes household my world became an adventure as I transformed into my secret superhero identity. I was Leonardo, the Ninja Turtle. A group of my friends made up the remaining team of reptile ninjas and everyday at school we would share our adventures of how we defeated the Foot Clan Soldiers throughout the streets and sewers of our town. Yes, we were the Ninja Turtles. Well, at least we said we were…(Read the Entire Article on Small Group Exchange)

    Join the Conversation (after reading the article) – What’s Your Thoughts on Reproducing as a Small Group?

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    Contrasting Visions

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    Last night at our launch team meeting we looked at two contrasting visions in the book of Acts. One is found in Acts 19 and the other in Acts 17.  Here are a few of my follow up thoughts and main points to the devotion:

    About that time, serious trouble developed in Ephesus concerning the Way. 24 It began with Demetrius, a silversmith who had a large business manufacturing silver shrines of the Greek goddess Artemis. He kept many craftsmen busy. 25 He called them together, along with others employed in similar trades, and addressed them as follows:

    “Gentlemen, you know that our wealth comes from this business. 26 But as you have seen and heard, this man Paul has persuaded many people that handmade gods aren’t really gods at all. And he’s done this not only here in Ephesus but throughout the entire province! 27 Of course, I’m not just talking about the loss of public respect for our business. I’m also concerned that the temple of the great goddess Artemis will lose its influence and that Artemis-this magnificent goddess worshiped throughout the province of Asia and all around the world-will be robbed of her great prestige!”

    28 At this their anger boiled, and they began shouting, “Great is Artemis of the Ephesians!” – - – 40 I am afraid we are in danger of being charged with rioting by the Roman government, since there is no cause for all this commotion. And if Rome demands an explanation, we won’t know what to say.” 41 Then he dismissed them, and they dispersed.

    Demetrius had a vision. His vision was for his own personal gain. He had an agenda to have a successful business and to make a lot of money. The worship of the false goddess, Artemis, is what fueled Demetrius’ towards achieving his vision of a successful business. Demetrius was smart because he played on the emotions of his employees. He understood that a man will do whatever he has to do to provide for his family, so Demetrius painted a picture that Paul was taking there ability to provide for their family and to make money by proclaiming the Gospel of Jesus. Two things stick out about Demetrius and I believe we can say the same thing for anyone who pursues their own agenda over God’s vision:

    1. They are not Willing to Sacrifice – (Vs. 23-26, 28) For Demetrius to abandon the vision he had for his business to embrace the vision of God as carried out by Paul and the other Apostles, it would have cost Demetrius a ton of money (Reminds me of the rich young ruler in Luke 18). His businesses relied on the worship of the false goddess, Artemis, and if lives were being changed, there would be less people worshiping Artemis, and therefore less demand for handcrafted idols.
    2. They are not Willing to Suffer – (Vs. 27, 40-41) People who follow their own agenda over God’s vision, try to control their lives and every situation around them to forcibly make what they desire to come to pass. They absolutely have to maintain some level of control, because their vision has no power. In this scripture, God’s movement was prevailing, and Demetrius and the city council tried their hardest to stop it, but it couldn’t be done. Demetrius and the city council were more worried about losing respect and facing trouble by the Romans, so they backed away from their uprising at the movement of God. When there is no power in what you are trying to do, it won’t be long, when trouble arises, that you’ll be jumping ship!

    In Acts 17:3-9, there is an opposing reaction to God’s vision and movement. Check it out…

    He said, “This Jesus I’m telling you about is the Messiah.” 4 Some of the Jews who listened were persuaded and joined Paul and Silas, along with many God-fearing Greek men and quite a few prominent women.

    5 But some of the Jews were jealous, so they gathered some troublemakers from the marketplace to form a mob and start a riot. They attacked the home of Jason, searching for Paul and Silas so they could drag them out to the crowd. 6 Not finding them there, they dragged out Jason and some of the other believers instead and took them before the city council. “Paul and Silas have caused trouble all over the world,” they shouted, “and now they are here disturbing our city, too. 7 And Jason has welcomed them into his home. They are all guilty of treason against Caesar, for they profess allegiance to another king, named Jesus.”

    8 The people of the city, as well as the city council, were thrown into turmoil by these reports. 9 So the officials forced Jason and the other believers to post bond, and then they released them.

    Christ’s movement was increasing through the influence of Paul and Silas. Many people  were placing their faith in Jesus Christ. Jason caught this vision from God and through his actions we can see a couple of things that is evident when we embrace God’s vision for his church and his people:

    1. They are Willing to Suffer Personally (Vs. 3-7) – Jason did nothing more than open his home for Paul and Silas to have a place to stay. The Scripture never says that he even opened his mouth to proclaim the Gospel, yet the mob came and attacked his home, drug him before the city council, accused him, and threatened greater consequences for being a part of this vision. Jason could have saved his own Butt by telling the council where Paul and Silas were. What did he have to gain from keeping them hid? Nothing earthly. The Scripture never says that Paul gave him recognition for his act of bravery and self surrender. Jason didn’t need that. He willingly kept his mouth shut, endured his home being attacked, endured being roughed up physically, and being accused. Simply so the movement could continue and God’s vision could prevail.
    2. They are Willing to Sacrifice Personally (Vs. 8-9) – This whole thing started with Jason being willing to open his home to Paul and Silas to give them a place to stay. This was extra cleaning for two additional people in their household, extra food to provide for them to eat…his hospitality alone was a great sacrifice, but in verse 9 the scripture says that they were forced to post bail to be released. Jason has already faced personal suffering for the vision that Paul and Silas were carrying out, but now, its costing him money. Now most people draw the line right here! When suffering begins to start costing us financially, all of a sudden, it must not be God anymore. Not for Jason…he believed in the vision to the place where he was willing to sacrifice to see it come to pass. At any moment Jason could have renounced this movement, protected his home, saved face from public humiliation, and saved his money…but the vision had POWER and when God is in the middle of something, those who do not have their own agendas are drawn to it.
    • Are you willing to suffer and sacrifice personally to see God’s vision come to pass? Or do you have your own personal agenda that is hindering you from diving all the way in?
    • God’s vision has no room for personal agendas. Those who only seek power, recognition, financial security,  positions, etc. prevent the movement of God from happening through them.
    • Let’s lay our personal agendas aside, fully embrace God’s vision for our lives (New Passion: to lead people to a passionate relationship with Jesus) and see a Revolutionary God Movement take place in our lives and in our cities!

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    I Am New Passion

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    I’d Rather See a Sermon

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    I’d Rather See a Sermon

    By: Edgar Albert Guest

    I’d rather see a sermon than hear one any day;
    I’d rather one should walk with me than merely tell the way.
    The eye’s a better pupil, more willing than the ear;
    Fine counsel is confusing, but example’s always clear,
    And the best of all the preachers are the men who live their creeds,
    For to see good put in action is what everybody needs.

    I can soon learn how to do it if you will let me see it done;
    I can watch your hands in action, but your tongue too fast may run.
    The lectures you deliver may be very wise and true,
    But I’d rather get my lesson by observing what you do.
    For I may misunderstand you and the high advice you give,
    But there is no misunderstanding how you act and how you live.

    When I see a deed of kindness, I am eager to be kind.
    When a weaker brother stumbles, and a strong man stands behind
    Just to see if he can help him, then the wish grows strong in me
    To become as big and thoughtful as I know that friend to be.
    And all travelers can witness that the best of guides today
    Is not the one who tells them, but the one who shows the way.

    One good man teaches many; men believe what they behold;
    One deed of kindness noted is worth forty that are told.
    Who stands with men of honor learns to hold his honor dear,
    For right living speaks a language which to everyone is clear.
    Though an able speaker charms me with his eloquence, I say,
    I’d rather see a sermon than hear one any day.

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