Personal – Page 9 – Nickcarnes.com

December 4, 2008

Am I a Bad Parent?

Ok, I want you to be honest here today! I want you to answer the question, am I a bad parent? Of course it is impossible for you to tell if I am a bad parent based on this one situation, but you can answer, was this a bad parenting decision…or a good one?

The Situation: Gavin loves the Christmas tree. If the lights are off, he plugs it up, he is the watcher of the ornaments, as Tristan, his 2 year old brother likes to take them off the tree. So, we made Gavin “responsible for the Christmas tree.” His duties involved 2 simple things #1 Unplug the lights when he goes to school (there is no need for them to be on during the day when he is not there) and #2 Turn off the lights when he goes to bed (they can’t stay on all night).

What Happened: Last night Gavin went to bed and did not turn off the lights on the Christmas Tree. I was busy working on some stuff and did not notice until he had been asleep for about 30 minutes. Nicki told me to let him sleep, I wanted to wake him up, after all it is his responsibility. I woke him up…it took me about 5 minutes, but he got up, walked in the living room and unplugged the tree. He didn’t remember even having to do it this morning.

My Reasons: I believe that children learn a lot of valuable lessons at an early age (Like in this Post) and because of what Proverbs 22:6 say’s. Gavin is becoming more and more aware of people who are in need, because we are teaching him and he prays for them everyday. I had a very traditional upbringing that taught things like, “Do it right the first time.” “Be a man of your word, if you say you are going to do something, do it, no matter the time or the cost.” Etc…So, since turning the lights off is Gavin’s “responsibility” which he accepted, I decided to wake him up to do his job. Sure, I could have simply unplugged the lights, but what would lesson would Gavin learn from that? That dad will always finish the job if he forgets or just doesn’t want to do it?

Join the Conversation: Am I a bad parent for waking Gavin up to unplug the Christmas tree? What would you have done differently if you think I am to teach responsibility to your child?

November 29, 2008

Thank You 1000 Times!!!

Thanks to all who have contributed to my blog by joining the many conversations. You have helped me reach 1000 comments, a feat which reveals how small-time of a blogger I am, yet is still a big accomplishment for such a small-time blogger. Thank you for helping me form this small community, I look forward to seeing where it goes from here and the next 1,000 comments to come.

November 27, 2008

One Year Ago Today

On Thanksgiving exactly 1 year ago today, I began a journey that has changed my life, hopefully forever. It took a lot of pain and sickness to begin this journey, but now as I look back, I can say I am glad I endured it.

Since last year I have lost 47lbs. I was 193 lbs the Tuesday before Thanksgiving and as of Monday (the day I am scheduling this post) I am 146 lbs. I told my wife I was going to try and lose 3 more pounds so I could round it up to 50, but no luck so far! 🙂

For those who do not know the story, I was extremely sick and in a lot of pain the Wednesday before Thanksgiving last year. I drove myself to the Emergency prompt care where I was diagnosed with an ulcer. I was given some medicine and sent home. The pain increased the next day and moved to the lower right side of my abdomen and eventually let me dad talk me into going to the ER. Once I arrived and saw a doctor, I was almost sent home without even being checked. The doctor read the chart and the diagnosis from the prompt care doctor and didn’t even walk in the door, before he turned to leave, I asked him a couple of questions that prompted him to do his job, and he skeptically decided to do a CT Scan on my Abdomen, he still stated he doubted I had anything wrong other than an ulcer. When the test results came back, they decided they needed to do an Emergency Appendectomy, and the rest is history…except the fact that the surgeon said my Appendix looked very sick, so I could have been sent home and it burst giving me gangrene or killing me. So, in my week of recovery I lost 6 lbs and determined to keep it up, I worked hard to lose the additional 41 lbs. My original goal was 165 lbs and I have overshot that by 19!

The positives: I feel great! I don’t dislike looking at myself in the mirror or having my picture taken. I’m in a whole lot better shape, I’m healthier, and I can encourage and empathize with people who are on a journey to lose weight and have a healthier lifestyle. Looking at old photos and seeing success!

The negatives: I’ve been criticized more since I lost weight than when I was 40 + lbs overweight. I guess some people don’t like to see others actually be successful at something they set out to accomplish. Along with losing 7 years of weight I lost as many years worth of clothes, so it has been challenging to replace them, especially with the changing season. Looking at old photos and regretting I let myself get so overweight.

The humorous side: Having people ask me, “So what did you do to lose all of your weight?” and then upon hearing my answer having them reply, “Oh, I could never do that!” – I guess some people want it the easy way!?

By the way…I missed Thanksgiving dinner last year and will be making up for it this year! 🙂

The Journey – Starts HERE – 6 lbsHERE – 10 lbs HERE – 179 lbs HERE – 172 HERE (Changing my Goal) – 167 HERE – A Meal of Pills & 159 lbs – I feel like Amway – 2 months finally lost 1 pound – 3-D Plan to eating healthy part 1 – 3-D plan to eating healthy part 2

November 8, 2008

Our Cash Envelope System

Nicki and I went to the ReThink Money Workshop today that our church put on with Casey Graham. Casey talked about using one of three plans to pre-designate your monthly funds: 1. A written spending plan 2. A Cash Envelope System or 3. A computer method (Quickbooks, Quicken, Etc.). If we used the cash envelope system, here’s what it would look like right now:

We are not going to use a cash envelope system, because cash is easier to spend, and we don’t have money to spend, period. Hopefully, applying the principles we learned today will help us save money and cut spending where we can, it is not going to help us overcome my need to start a second job for a while, but it will reduce the amount I need to earn in that job. If you hear of a ReThink Money Seminar in your area, I highly recommend you go to it.

Join the Conversation: Do you use a budgeting system or a spending plan, if so what is it?

November 4, 2008

Married for 8 Years Today

Today is a big day for me. I had the awesome responsibility to vote for our next President of the United States. I did so as a free man, there was no military presence at the voting precinct and I was not forced to vote against my will under threat of death. Today marks an even bigger day for me, it marks the day that 8 years ago my life was changed forever. It does not matter what direction our country turns in or if I had to live in a land full of oppression, I would still be the happiest man on earth, because I have the priviledge of being married to the love of my life and my best friend, Nicki. So today, this is a little of what I want to say to my wife…

On this day 8 years ago, you made the decision to start a new life journey with me. The many roads that we have traveled in these short 8 years have been full of twists and turns, hills and mountains, pot holes as well as smooth straight paths. I would be inaccurately describing it if I said it’s been anything short of an adventure.

Some of our roads were surprises while others have been of our own choosing, but no matter which road we’ve traveled we’ve come to the end together, and still we have many to complete.

I can easily say that after these 8 years we have a successful life. No we are not the wealthiest people on earth, ok, wealthy is not even in our dictionary, but we made decisions for our family that in 8 more years we will be thankful for. I cannot put a price tag on a loving wife that has sacrificed career and personal dreams to ensure that our children had a positive influence at home before being shipped off to school. The intelligence that our children have because of the influence of their mom is truly priceless and could never be copied by an outside daycare or child rearing source. I know at times its seems that your hard work making purses to help make ends meet goes unnoticed and is unappreciated, but I thank God for your dedication to our home, to our marriage, and to our children. In a self-serving and self-pleasing world I know that I have found a treasure in a woman who will put self aside for the good of her family. We are successful because we have 3 beautiful, healthy, smart, and loving children. All of them are growing into children, one day teenagers, and eventually adults who will be a blessing to the world around them; we’ve already seen this in their character and personality as they get older. I would trade riches any day for a beautiful, loving, healthy, and dedicated wife and for the three greatest children a man could ask for. This is just one of the many roads we are on, and when we get to the end of it, we will be a stronger couple, we will be stronger parents, and we will be stronger candidates for God to use. This 8 year journey has quickly passed us by and I can only hope that the next 8 will not be in such a rush to get here. Let’s not look too far in to our tomorrows, but savor all that God has blessed us with in all of our todays.

So, at the beginning of this new day together I thank you for sticking with me through all of my bone headed decisions; some turned out great while others made us dig to the surface just to get air. I thank you for being the best mom I could ever dream up for our children, for being a great influence on them, one that will lead them after Jesus throughout their entire life. I thank you for being dedicated to us, your family. I thank you for being you, and not anyone I may have tried to make you into over the years. I thank you for breakfast in the mornings and dinner in the evenings. I thank you for your creativity and allowing God to use those gifts He has given you. I thank you for allowing me to travel and experience some of my dreams while you hold down the fort at home. I thank you that you have given me the confidence and the trust that no matter where God leads us, whether it is a new town or just down the street you are going to be there with me when we get to the end of that road. Most of all, I thank you for loving me more than anyone ever has, more than anyone ever would, and more than anyone should. You are my very best friend…my everything! Happy 8^th Year Anniversary!

I Love You,

Nick