Fatherless

May 16, 2013 By nick Leave a Comment

I started reading, “It’s Better to Build Boys Than Mend Men” by S. Truett Cathy

Chapter One shares these disturbing facts about fatherlessness in the United States:

The Results of Fatherlessness:

The United States is the world’s leader in fatherless homes. The results of our actions, according to the Father’s Manifesto:

  • 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes
  • 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes (I personally see the results of this daily).
  • 80% of rapists motivated with displaced angers come from fatherless homes.
  • 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes
  • 85% of youth in prison grew up in fatherless homes
  • 75% of all adolescent patients in drug treatment centers come from fatherless homes (I personally see this manifest itself in adult males, daily)

Children from Fatherless Homes are:

  • 5 times more likely to commit suicide
  • 32 times more likely to run away
  • 20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders
  • 14 times more likely to commit rape
  • 9 times more likely to drop out of school
  • 10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances
  • 9 times more likely to end up in a state-operated institution
  • 20 times more likely to end up in prison

When we hear or read ‘fatherless’ homes, we tend to assume that there is no father figure in the home, however Truett Cathy points out that many, “children all around us are growing up without strong positive guidance from their parents, who are busy, distracted, absent, or who choose to be buddies instead of parents to their children.” Some fatherless homes are homes with a disengaged father living in them. So, whether the father has left the home or is simply disengaged and still living in the home; a father’s choices and actions make a huge impact on his children.

Truett Cathy makes the following point, “Don’t be too concerned that your children don’t listen to you. But be very concerned that they see everything you do.” Mr. Cathy’s story is one of a disengaged father, but he had a Sunday School teacher that came along and provided a positive, father-like influence in his life that made a huge impact in his life.

In what ways do you as a dad need to engage your children in a positive, Biblical way to impact their future? Do you know of any children that have a disengaged or an absent father in their life that you can influence in a positive, Biblical way as a father-like mentor?

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The Two Faces of Leadership

May 10, 2013 By nick Leave a Comment

Leadership Face One

Many of us have heard it taught that God ordains leaders and places them in their positions of authority and influence. I believe this.

A paraphrased look at the three most popular passages that we get this teaching from is…. Daniel 4:17, it tells us that, “the Most High rules over the kingdoms of the world and gives them to anyone he chooses, even the lowliest of men.” Romans 13:1 tells us that those in positions of authority have been placed there by God; and finally 1 Peter 2:13-14 tells us to respect all human authority…kings…heads of state…or officials….he has appointed.

This is one face of leadership.

As Andy Stanley shared at the Catalyst Conference several years ago. Leadership is a stewardship, it is temporary and leaders will be held accountable for the influence God has entrusted to us.

If God ordains one to a position of leadership, that leader should steward that influence well. Andy presented three truths as to how we can steward our influence as leaders well: 1) Diligence – As Colossians 3:23 instructs us, we should work at whatever we do (or are called to do) with all our hearts. 2) Fearlessness – The final statement given to us in Colossians 3:23 is this, as for the Lord and not for men. A leader can only lead well when his concern for disobeying God is greater than his fear of disappointing people. 3) Humility – God placed us in the positions that he has placed us in; therefore we have no reason and no room to be arrogant or prideful in our leading.

This part of leadership is what everyone talks about. But, what about the second part of leadership? The part that is implied but unspoken? The part that most overlook and never talk about?

Leadership’s Second Face

I know several people that have a history of leadership, but for some reason they are struggling to get hired as a pastor or a youth pastor or as a manager or in some other leadership capacity that they’ve served as in the past. They want to be leaders again, but the door is not opening.

I also know several people that have never been leaders that would probably chew off their right arm (or left, if they are right handed) to be placed in a leadership position. Several of the people I can place in this category have a misconception about leadership and it’s requirements. They see what they perceive as the “perks” of leadership, but they have no idea about the struggles, the pain and the difficulties that come with the position. They think a leadership title of director, pastor or manager will change their life. For some, it’s an issue of power and control. They fail to understand that Being bossy doesn’t make someone a boss.

If it is true that God appoints people to their position of leadership then it must also be true that God does not appoint some people into positions of leadership. This is another face of leadership. It’s a truth we don’t point out much.

But, it is healthy to point it out. People need to know that it is okay to serve in support roles. To be the associate or the assistant or even a volunteer. We glorify the leadership position too much, so much so that people want the glorification of the position. They think it will provide them more perks or more rights, whereas the truth of leadership remains that in positions of leadership our rights decrease while our responsibilities increase.

If one loves the organization that God has placed them in and they truly want the best for that organization, they will serve and support wherever the need is. Someone that’s out for their own glory, power, prestige and/or position will hinder the organization by attempting to force themselves into a position God did not appoint them to, or they will hijack progress by refusing to cooperate fully within the role God has placed them in. Colossians 3:23 and 1 Corinthians 10:31 applies to people filling support roles as much as it applies to those God has placed in leadership positions. With every verse that we are told that God appoints people to positions of leadership, we also get as much instruction (or more) to follow those leaders and to follow them well.

If I am not serving in a leadership position, does that mean God will never appoint me to a leadership position? No, but but there is the possibility that he might not. The question should be, “Am I willing to serve in whatever role God has for me?” If you are not in a leadership position and you are trying to get back into a leadership position or you are trying to obtain a leadership position for the first time, here are some ideas that may be of help to you:

  • Pray – Make your requests and desires known to God while you wait
  • Prepare – Everyone influences someone. Prepare for the possibility of assuming a future leadership position by developing your leadership skills with those God has allowed you to have influence over (family, children, etc.) How do you communicate to them? How do you develop them? Work on those skills.
  • Properly Support - Along the lines of preparing to be in a leadership position, how you support those in leadership positions go a long way to how you develop into a stronger leader. John Maxwell has a great article on “Leading from the Middle of the Pack” that gives great insight into this.
  • Patience and Flexibility – God places people into positions. If it is his desire for you to be there, he will place you there. God gave Joseph a dream that he would one day be in a leadership position, but it took him approximately 22 years to see that dream come to pass. But, what if God does not have a position for you? Remain flexible and fulfill your support role to the glory of God.

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The “L” in Leadership is Not for “Liar”

February 6, 2013 By nick Leave a Comment

There are several things that would disqualify a person from being a leader or at least from being considered a leader, but there are two particular reasons I want to discuss which happen to fall under the same category.

The “L” in Leadership is Not for “Liar”

Lying and/or Deception (which is essentially lying) is one of the top actions to disqualify a person from being a leader. Sure, they may posses a leadership position, but that doesn’t mean they are a leader; no more than my putting a golf ball in an egg carton makes it an egg.

Leadership is the ability to influence people towards a specific vision or goal. When an individual resorts to the art of lying or the use of deception, they are no longer considered a leader, but rather a manipulator (and that’s only if they are able to successfully maneuver people as a result of the lies).

Leadership is the ability to influence people towards a specific vision or goal. The use of lies and deception eliminates the key verb, “influence” in that definition. Lying is not influencing; its the attempt to appease another person (telling them what they want to hear) or its an effort to try and avoid difficult conversations or issues. A leader does not hide from confrontation, he addresses it head on (see Saul vs. Jonathan in 1 Samuel 13-14). A person will also be found resorting to lies and deception when they’re attempting to reach their own goal in a dishonest manner.

  • It could be a supervisor saying what they think an employee wants to hear in order to deceive them into believing they have an opportunity to retain employment when the supervisor’s goal is to keep them employed until the person they really want to work with is available.  Even if the supervisor is able to keep that employee in place until the perfect timing to replace them, the supervisor did not reach this goal through influence, rather by deceiving the current employee that they had an opportunity.
  • It could be a sales manger who promises a salesperson specific rewards or bonuses if they reach a specific sales number and then backtracks on that promise with some type of petty excuse once the salesperson reaches their goal. The sales manager reached their goal of higher sales from their salesperson, but they didn’t use influence, they used lies.
  • It could be a pastor with a specific vision or goal for his church and when facing opposition and friction from his leadership team and/or elders, he pushes harder, lies and deceives to paint a picture of horrible consequences if they do not go along with his idea. Even if the pastor gets his way, he will not have done it through any influence of his own, rather through manipulation.
  • Ditto point #2, just change the person in question with a politician and change the vision for the church to an idea for the country. I think you can figure it out.

Join the conversation: Are you a leader that’s resorted to lying and deception to get your way? Why?

Have you been in an organization where the “leader” above you used lies and deception versus influence to obtain what they wanted? What was the results?

 

 

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Why We Don’t Beg People to Stay

January 31, 2011 By nick 6 Comments

I have a firm rule as a pastor. I DO NOT beg (or ask) people to stay at New Passion.

I’ve always had my reasons why, but this verse, though simple, is very profound, I couldn’t have said it better myself…

These people left our churches, but they never really belonged with us; otherwise they would have stayed with us. When they left, it proved that they did not belong with us. 1 John 2:19

Here are a few of my (personal) reasons…

1. Protection – Jesus warned against false prophets who come in the church dressed as one of the sheep, but are as vicious wolves on the inside (Matthew 7:15). I believe this verse can be extended beyond “prophets” to those who would prey on the flock God has entrusted into my leadership and the leadership of the other church leaders. It is my responsibility to care for this flock that Jesus entrusted to me (1 Peter 5:2 “Care for the flock that God has entrusted to you. Watch over it willingly…“)

    Why do “wolves” prey on the flock?
  • Sexual Gain – There are people who’ll infiltrate the church to manipulate members of the opposite sex for sexual gain.
  • Financial Gain – There are people, especially in businesses who rely on sales, marketing, and networking who will infiltrate the church to prey on others financially to build their own businesses and to profit personally from the people within the church. This is one of the reasons the “rich” and “successful” people flock to the largest churches in town, it’s good for business because there’s more people to “befriend.” And we all know that’s why Jesus established His church.
  • Wicked Intentions – The fact is…there are evil people in this world and they have wicked intentions (whatever category they fall in). You are not going to convert a wolf into a vegetarian. Their nature is to devour meat. A “spiritual” wolf’s nature is to produce wickedness. Their goal is to cause chaos and destruction in the church. As Matt Chandler once asked, [paraphrased] “Would you dip your kids in blood and allow them to play with wolves?” “So why would we be okay with wolves hanging around our flock?

2. Preferences – The fact is, everyone has different preferences when it comes to church, and New Passion is not for everyone. We understand that and we are okay with that. Some people like chocolate ice cream, others prefer vanilla, while smart people (like me) choose strawberry. An Italian came along one day and decided he’d put all three together and it became known as “Neapolitan” Ice Cream. This would later become the blueprint for the church that offers a little bit of everything for everyone with a traditional service, contemporary service, Sunday School, and Small Groups. That’s okay for them, but it’s not for us. Our style is modern. Some people like a traditional style of worship or even a more toned down contemporary style. We know that people are going to come check us out and not everyone will be looking for what we are offering. That’s okay! It would be pointless to try and beg people to stay in an environment that they are uncomfortable with.

3. Prompting – Bottom-line, God leads people away from ministries in order to use them in other places. To try  and convince people to “stay” with your ministry is selfish and could serve as potential confusion for those trying to discern the still small voice of God that is prompting them to serve in another capacity within another ministry. This is usually easy to recognize because these people will be faithful servants already serving or attempting to serve in the church where God placed them for that season. Some people will use this as an excuse to make it easier to leave because they fear confrontation and it’s pretty easy to discern, because they aren’t really faithfully serving in the present where they are at. Let them go! If we have someone who is faithfully serving, but feels God is prompting them to move to another ministry, we will do our very best to support them and pray for them as God uses them in a new capacity.

    I was never the guy that dated a girl, broke up, dated again, broke up, dated again, etc, etc. I just didn’t see the point. I’ve been a part of churches where people would go to the leadership and announce that they felt it was time they found another church and through various forms of manipulation and “new” positions and jobs within the church, they would feel guilty and stay. In the end, the results were the same, but they spent several more months in misery. The reality is, no one can give me a single reason why any church or leader or pastor should beg anyone to stay…..yeah I didn’t think so.

    If you start the habit of babying people, you have to keep it up! If you beg people to stay because they are big givers, well, then I believe you are a faithless, hireling, and people’s money will always control you.

    Anyway, I would love to hear your thoughts on the matter. This is solely my personal opinion :)

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    Welcome to Oddville

    October 20, 2010 By nick Leave a Comment

    greg-drinking-coffeeI was going to tweet this but it’s too long:

    I think I died and woke up in an alternate universe, you know the kind where all the people are the same, but everything is different?

    We had our first New Passion Leadership Meeting where all four of our key leaders (Billy Wilson, Jonothan Powell, Gregory Hansel, and Myself) were together tonight.

    I found it funny and strangely odd that #1 I was the only one out of the group NOT tweeting and #2 the two newbies to twitter, who by the way, swore they would never tweet were having an in-depth discussion with each other about why they weren’t following each other.

    By the way, if you are the wife to one of these guys, my goal was to end by 8:30, it was 8:33 when I was finished with what I had to cover, but it also took me an extra five minutes to get them to put their phones down :)

    Oh how things change!

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    Stay in the Boat by Judah Smith

    October 20, 2010 By nick Leave a Comment

    This is the message by Judah Smith from the New Spring Leadership Conference I attended several weeks ago. The actual title was “Matters of the Meantime” but the overarching theme of the message was “Stay in the Boat.” I was following Judah on Twitter, but I had never heard one of his messages. I was kind of blown away by his attire, I had never seen a man wear leotard before (okay they were skinny, skinny jeans), but he preaches the Word with boldness and blew me away with his message, so he can wear leotards if he wants :)

    Check out more videos from the New Spring Leadership Conference.

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    Watch Out for the Devour

    October 14, 2010 By nick Leave a Comment

    Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your Christian brothers and sisters all over the world are going through the same kind of suffering you are. 1 Peter 5:8-9 [Full Context]

    I admit, I’ve been on a personal journey to confirm that what I was taught at a younger age is correct and to affirm what I believe Scripture teaches for myself, so I still have ‘Aha!’ moments…a lot! I had a pastor who used to push down people’s throats that the “man of God deserved double honor,” so we were never allowed to question him. Later in life I learned that this statement was pulled out of context. 1 Timothy 5:17 says that an elder who directs the affairs of the church WELL deserves double honor in his compensation, especially those who preach and teach…key word…well, this has nothing to do with questioning an Elder when they have fallen off the reservation!

    Anyway, all of that to say, my eyes were opened tonight at 1 Peter 5:8-9. I find it interesting that it is written to “Elders” and “Young Men.” The warning is to “Stay Alert!” that our enemy, the devil, prowls around seeking who he may devour. Sure, this is applicable to all Christians, but it is specifically written to Elders and young men. A friend contacted me this week. She found out that her former pastor has been involved in a sexual affair. I was heartbroken for that man, his family, the church, their people and their leaders. It seems to be coming to the surface more and more. What greater victory could we as pastors and church leaders give Satan than to dishonor God in our calling? To abuse our office? To open ourselves up to devour?

    Notice, the verse says, seeking who he may devour…I went through a marriage course by Bruce Wilkerson with my wife. He used the analogy of a traffic light. We all give off a signal. Red light, I’m not available. Green light, I’m looking…I’m open & available! Satan is prowling to see if your light is lit up green, and if it is, you’re open to attack! Pastor, Elder, young man…if you are married, you better be putting off the right signals. It goes beyond sexually too. It’s applicable to any moral and ethical standard that the Bible calls us to.

    Pastors are highly competitive people. I wonder what would happen if we stopped looking at each others’ ministries to see what one another is doing and how many we are running, and started devoting ourselves to prayer for one another?

    …Stay Alert!

    Thought?

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    God, Hurry Up!

    July 6, 2010 By nick Leave a Comment

    I loved today’s entry from Oswald Chambers. I find myself too often wanting God to hurry up and fulfill the vision he’s given me, whether it be for my family, for my church, or for myself personally. I’ve had a new hunger and longing lately, one that I’ve never had before and today, I think I see that it is God getting me into shape for the goal he has for me. I’ve heard similar things from some of our New Passion team. They are longing for God to show up in a fresh and powerful way; first personally then corporately. I’m excited that God has us on the same page and I cannot wait (although he wants me to wait) to see God continue to unfold his plan in us and through us.

    Check out the devotional from today:

    Visions Become Reality

    The parched ground shall become a pool . . . Isaiah 35:7

    We always have a vision of something before it actually becomes real to us. When we realize that the vision is real, but is not yet real in us, Satan comes to us with his temptations, and we are inclined to say that there is no point in even trying to continue. Instead of the vision becoming real to us, we have entered into a valley of humiliation.

    Life is not as idle ore,
    But iron dug from central gloom,
    And battered by the shocks of doom
    To shape and use.

    God gives us a vision, and then He takes us down to the valley to batter us into the shape of that vision. It is in the valley that so many of us give up and faint. Every God-given vision will become real if we will only have patience. Just think of the enormous amount of free time God has! He is never in a hurry. Yet we are always in such a frantic hurry. While still in the light of the glory of the vision, we go right out to do things, but the vision is not yet real in us. God has to take us into the valley and put us through fires and floods to batter us into shape, until we get to the point where He can trust us with the reality of the vision. Ever since God gave us the vision, He has been at work. He is getting us into the shape of the goal He has for us, and yet over and over again we try to escape from the Sculptor’s hand in an effort to batter ourselves into the shape of our own goal.

    The vision that God gives is not some unattainable castle in the sky, but a vision of what God wants you to be down here. Allow the Potter to put you on His wheel and whirl you around as He desires. Then as surely as God is God, and you are you, you will turn out as an exact likeness of the vision. But don’t lose heart in the process. If you have ever had a vision from God, you may try as you will to be satisfied on a lower level, but God will never allow it.

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    Ten Signs a Leader Is “Losing It!” By Perry Noble

    March 25, 2010 By nick Leave a Comment

    perry-noble1Ten Signs a Leader Is “Losing It!”

    By Perry Noble

    My friend Latasha posted a link on Facebook to Perry Noble’s blog post from earlier today. This post is 100% spot on. Perry absolutely nailed it. If you have ever experienced a leader who has “lost it,” you’ll easily recognize these ten signs. Most importantly, these serve as a warning sign to each of us as leaders, when our ministries or organization become more about us and more about our success than Jesus’, these signs will start popping up in our own lives. I believe when this happens, we either have a choice to repent and turn from these ways or hide them and continue to pretend that we’re making it about Jesus, when in reality, it’s all about us. Check the ten signs out:

    I’ve been reading through the OT lately and have been challenged by the downward leadership spiral that Saul went on…here are TEN signs from his life that point to a leader “losing it.”

    #1 – The ministry he leads moves from being about the name of God to the name of the leader. (Compare I Samuel 14:35 with I Samuel 15:12!)

    #2 – He gets impatient with the process that God is taking him through and thereby tries to “make something happen” rather than waiting on God’s timing. (I Samuel 15:5-10)

    #3 – He makes self centered leadership decisions that slow down the people he works with rather than empowering them. (I Samuel 15:24-notice the references to himself in this verse.)

    #4 – He refuses to completely obey God because it places him in uncomfortable situation. (I Samuel 15:1-9)

    #5 – He allows fear of man to trump his fear of God. (I Samuel 15:24)

    Click Here to go to Perry’s original post to read signs 6-10

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    How Did Jesus Lead?

    March 12, 2010 By nick 3 Comments

    leader_colored-peopleWe had our first PassionKidz meeting last night to start a conversation about our next steps in our Children’s Worship Environment at New Passion. We opened the night looking at 4 ways Jesus led His movement while on Earth, check them out, and then join the conversation by adding your thoughts:

    1. Jesus Mobilized (Mark 1:17) Jesus called out to them, “Come, follow me…”
    Jesus invited others to join him on his mission. At New Passion, that is part of having a passionate relationship with Jesus. When we are passionate about the things Jesus is passionate about, we’ll do the things Jesus did. One of the ways we aim to increase our partners in ministry is to invite others to be a part of what Jesus is doing. Relationships are the key. We want to start by inviting those we are the closest to.

    2. Jesus Taught (Mark 1:17) “…and I will show you how to fish for people!”
    Jesus didn’t call the fishermen to come join him on his mission so he could throw them to the wolves (or the Pharisees) to be eaten alive. Jesus called them and said he would show them how to fulfill this mission. I think too often the church finds someone who breathes oxygen and has blood running through their veins and thinks they found a solution to their volunteer problems. The church must be about equipping its leaders and volunteers to fulfill the mission Jesus has them on. Our goal at NPC is to equip and teach our people, so we are all running together.

    3. Jesus Empowered (Mark 6:7) “And he [Jesus] called his twelve disciples together and began sending them out two by two, giving them authority…”
    Jesus had a specific mission he was here to fulfill, but part of that mission did not include him staying here physically to fulfill every role himself. He empowered and trusted the people he mobilized to join him to carry the mission out. He gave them all the authority they needed to accomplish the mission he called them to. I think the deadliest problem in the church today is “leaders” who micromanage every detail of the church. They have to know everything that’s happening and they have to have their fingerprints on it. Jesus gave his people the ability to carry out his mission without standing beside them holding their hand…and yes…they failed and they messed up…but he kept teaching them and preparing them for the day they would not have him. At New Passion we desire to empower our leaders & volunteers to fulfill the role we entrust to them.

    4. Jesus Reproduced (Matthew 28:19, 20) “…Go and make disciples…Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you.”
    Jesus told the disciples to Go and make disciples. When we make a baby, we reproduce ourselves. Jesus had already reproduced himself into the life of the disciples, he now was telling them to go and reproduce him [Jesus] into the life of others. He said, “Teach these new disciples…” He didn’t tell them to bring the disciples back to him so he could teach them, he told his reproduction to continue to reproduce. Once again, it goes back to Jesus empowering his followers. At New Passion, we hope our people become so passionate about the mission Jesus has called us to and our vision of leading people to a passionate relationship with Jesus, that they cannot help but reproduce themselves into the life of the people around them. Life change produces life change…and that’s how God will use NPC to change the world. Life Change.

    Join the Conversation…What’s Your Additional Thoughts?

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