Why We Don’t Beg People to Stay

I have a firm rule as a pastor. I DO NOT beg (or ask) people to stay at New Passion.

I’ve always had my reasons why, but this verse, though simple, is very profound, I couldn’t have said it better myself…

These people left our churches, but they never really belonged with us; otherwise they would have stayed with us. When they left, it proved that they did not belong with us. 1 John 2:19

Here are a few of my (personal) reasons…

1. Protection – Jesus warned against false prophets who come in the church dressed as one of the sheep, but are as vicious wolves on the inside (Matthew 7:15). I believe this verse can be extended beyond “prophets” to those who would prey on the flock God has entrusted into my leadership and the leadership of the other church leaders. It is my responsibility to care for this flock that Jesus entrusted to me (1 Peter 5:2Care for the flock that God has entrusted to you. Watch over it willingly…“)

    Why do “wolves” prey on the flock?
  • Sexual Gain – There are people who’ll infiltrate the church to manipulate members of the opposite sex for sexual gain.
  • Financial Gain – There are people, especially in businesses who rely on sales, marketing, and networking who will infiltrate the church to prey on others financially to build their own businesses and to profit personally from the people within the church. This is one of the reasons the “rich” and “successful” people flock to the largest churches in town, it’s good for business because there’s more people to “befriend.” And we all know that’s why Jesus established His church.
  • Wicked Intentions – The fact is…there are evil people in this world and they have wicked intentions (whatever category they fall in). You are not going to convert a wolf into a vegetarian. Their nature is to devour meat. A “spiritual” wolf’s nature is to produce wickedness. Their goal is to cause chaos and destruction in the church. As Matt Chandler once asked, [paraphrased] “Would you dip your kids in blood and allow them to play with wolves?” “So why would we be okay with wolves hanging around our flock?

2. Preferences – The fact is, everyone has different preferences when it comes to church, and New Passion is not for everyone. We understand that and we are okay with that. Some people like chocolate ice cream, others prefer vanilla, while smart people (like me) choose strawberry. An Italian came along one day and decided he’d put all three together and it became known as “Neapolitan” Ice Cream. This would later become the blueprint for the church that offers a little bit of everything for everyone with a traditional service, contemporary service, Sunday School, and Small Groups. That’s okay for them, but it’s not for us. Our style is modern. Some people like a traditional style of worship or even a more toned down contemporary style. We know that people are going to come check us out and not everyone will be looking for what we are offering. That’s okay! It would be pointless to try and beg people to stay in an environment that they are uncomfortable with.

3. Prompting – Bottom-line, God leads people away from ministries in order to use them in other places. To try  and convince people to “stay” with your ministry is selfish and could serve as potential confusion for those trying to discern the still small voice of God that is prompting them to serve in another capacity within another ministry. This is usually easy to recognize because these people will be faithful servants already serving or attempting to serve in the church where God placed them for that season. Some people will use this as an excuse to make it easier to leave because they fear confrontation and it’s pretty easy to discern, because they aren’t really faithfully serving in the present where they are at. Let them go! If we have someone who is faithfully serving, but feels God is prompting them to move to another ministry, we will do our very best to support them and pray for them as God uses them in a new capacity.

    I was never the guy that dated a girl, broke up, dated again, broke up, dated again, etc, etc. I just didn’t see the point. I’ve been a part of churches where people would go to the leadership and announce that they felt it was time they found another church and through various forms of manipulation and “new” positions and jobs within the church, they would feel guilty and stay. In the end, the results were the same, but they spent several more months in misery. The reality is, no one can give me a single reason why any church or leader or pastor should beg anyone to stay…..yeah I didn’t think so.

    If you start the habit of babying people, you have to keep it up! If you beg people to stay because they are big givers, well, then I believe you are a faithless, hireling, and people’s money will always control you.

    Anyway, I would love to hear your thoughts on the matter. This is solely my personal opinion :)

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    Welcome to Oddville

    greg-drinking-coffeeI was going to tweet this but it’s too long:

    I think I died and woke up in an alternate universe, you know the kind where all the people are the same, but everything is different?

    We had our first New Passion Leadership Meeting where all four of our key leaders (Billy Wilson, Jonothan Powell, Gregory Hansel, and Myself) were together tonight.

    I found it funny and strangely odd that #1 I was the only one out of the group NOT tweeting and #2 the two newbies to twitter, who by the way, swore they would never tweet were having an in-depth discussion with each other about why they weren’t following each other.

    By the way, if you are the wife to one of these guys, my goal was to end by 8:30, it was 8:33 when I was finished with what I had to cover, but it also took me an extra five minutes to get them to put their phones down :)

    Oh how things change!

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    Stay in the Boat by Judah Smith

    This is the message by Judah Smith from the New Spring Leadership Conference I attended several weeks ago. The actual title was “Matters of the Meantime” but the overarching theme of the message was “Stay in the Boat.” I was following Judah on Twitter, but I had never heard one of his messages. I was kind of blown away by his attire, I had never seen a man wear leotard before (okay they were skinny, skinny jeans), but he preaches the Word with boldness and blew me away with his message, so he can wear leotards if he wants :)

    Check out more videos from the New Spring Leadership Conference.

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    Watch Out for the Devour

    Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your Christian brothers and sisters all over the world are going through the same kind of suffering you are. 1 Peter 5:8-9 [Full Context]

    I admit, I’ve been on a personal journey to confirm that what I was taught at a younger age is correct and to affirm what I believe Scripture teaches for myself, so I still have ‘Aha!’ moments…a lot! I had a pastor who used to push down people’s throats that the “man of God deserved double honor,” so we were never allowed to question him. Later in life I learned that this statement was pulled out of context. 1 Timothy 5:17 says that an elder who directs the affairs of the church WELL deserves double honor in his compensation, especially those who preach and teach…key word…well, this has nothing to do with questioning an Elder when they have fallen off the reservation!

    Anyway, all of that to say, my eyes were opened tonight at 1 Peter 5:8-9. I find it interesting that it is written to “Elders” and “Young Men.” The warning is to “Stay Alert!” that our enemy, the devil, prowls around seeking who he may devour. Sure, this is applicable to all Christians, but it is specifically written to Elders and young men. A friend contacted me this week. She found out that her former pastor has been involved in a sexual affair. I was heartbroken for that man, his family, the church, their people and their leaders. It seems to be coming to the surface more and more. What greater victory could we as pastors and church leaders give Satan than to dishonor God in our calling? To abuse our office? To open ourselves up to devour?

    Notice, the verse says, seeking who he may devour…I went through a marriage course by Bruce Wilkerson with my wife. He used the analogy of a traffic light. We all give off a signal. Red light, I’m not available. Green light, I’m looking…I’m open & available! Satan is prowling to see if your light is lit up green, and if it is, you’re open to attack! Pastor, Elder, young man…if you are married, you better be putting off the right signals. It goes beyond sexually too. It’s applicable to any moral and ethical standard that the Bible calls us to.

    Pastors are highly competitive people. I wonder what would happen if we stopped looking at each others’ ministries to see what one another is doing and how many we are running, and started devoting ourselves to prayer for one another?

    …Stay Alert!

    Thought?

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    God, Hurry Up!

    I loved today’s entry from Oswald Chambers. I find myself too often wanting God to hurry up and fulfill the vision he’s given me, whether it be for my family, for my church, or for myself personally. I’ve had a new hunger and longing lately, one that I’ve never had before and today, I think I see that it is God getting me into shape for the goal he has for me. I’ve heard similar things from some of our New Passion team. They are longing for God to show up in a fresh and powerful way; first personally then corporately. I’m excited that God has us on the same page and I cannot wait (although he wants me to wait) to see God continue to unfold his plan in us and through us.

    Check out the devotional from today:

    Visions Become Reality

    The parched ground shall become a pool . . . Isaiah 35:7

    We always have a vision of something before it actually becomes real to us. When we realize that the vision is real, but is not yet real in us, Satan comes to us with his temptations, and we are inclined to say that there is no point in even trying to continue. Instead of the vision becoming real to us, we have entered into a valley of humiliation.

    Life is not as idle ore,
    But iron dug from central gloom,
    And battered by the shocks of doom
    To shape and use.

    God gives us a vision, and then He takes us down to the valley to batter us into the shape of that vision. It is in the valley that so many of us give up and faint. Every God-given vision will become real if we will only have patience. Just think of the enormous amount of free time God has! He is never in a hurry. Yet we are always in such a frantic hurry. While still in the light of the glory of the vision, we go right out to do things, but the vision is not yet real in us. God has to take us into the valley and put us through fires and floods to batter us into shape, until we get to the point where He can trust us with the reality of the vision. Ever since God gave us the vision, He has been at work. He is getting us into the shape of the goal He has for us, and yet over and over again we try to escape from the Sculptor’s hand in an effort to batter ourselves into the shape of our own goal.

    The vision that God gives is not some unattainable castle in the sky, but a vision of what God wants you to be down here. Allow the Potter to put you on His wheel and whirl you around as He desires. Then as surely as God is God, and you are you, you will turn out as an exact likeness of the vision. But don’t lose heart in the process. If you have ever had a vision from God, you may try as you will to be satisfied on a lower level, but God will never allow it.

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    Ten Signs a Leader Is “Losing It!” By Perry Noble

    perry-noble1Ten Signs a Leader Is “Losing It!”

    By Perry Noble

    My friend Latasha posted a link on Facebook to Perry Noble’s blog post from earlier today. This post is 100% spot on. Perry absolutely nailed it. If you have ever experienced a leader who has “lost it,” you’ll easily recognize these ten signs. Most importantly, these serve as a warning sign to each of us as leaders, when our ministries or organization become more about us and more about our success than Jesus’, these signs will start popping up in our own lives. I believe when this happens, we either have a choice to repent and turn from these ways or hide them and continue to pretend that we’re making it about Jesus, when in reality, it’s all about us. Check the ten signs out:

    I’ve been reading through the OT lately and have been challenged by the downward leadership spiral that Saul went on…here are TEN signs from his life that point to a leader “losing it.”

    #1 – The ministry he leads moves from being about the name of God to the name of the leader. (Compare I Samuel 14:35 with I Samuel 15:12!)

    #2 – He gets impatient with the process that God is taking him through and thereby tries to “make something happen” rather than waiting on God’s timing. (I Samuel 15:5-10)

    #3 – He makes self centered leadership decisions that slow down the people he works with rather than empowering them. (I Samuel 15:24-notice the references to himself in this verse.)

    #4 – He refuses to completely obey God because it places him in uncomfortable situation. (I Samuel 15:1-9)

    #5 – He allows fear of man to trump his fear of God. (I Samuel 15:24)

    Click Here to go to Perry’s original post to read signs 6-10

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    How Did Jesus Lead?

    leader_colored-peopleWe had our first PassionKidz meeting last night to start a conversation about our next steps in our Children’s Worship Environment at New Passion. We opened the night looking at 4 ways Jesus led His movement while on Earth, check them out, and then join the conversation by adding your thoughts:

    1. Jesus Mobilized (Mark 1:17) Jesus called out to them, “Come, follow me…
    Jesus invited others to join him on his mission. At New Passion, that is part of having a passionate relationship with Jesus. When we are passionate about the things Jesus is passionate about, we’ll do the things Jesus did. One of the ways we aim to increase our partners in ministry is to invite others to be a part of what Jesus is doing. Relationships are the key. We want to start by inviting those we are the closest to.

    2. Jesus Taught (Mark 1:17) “…and I will show you how to fish for people!
    Jesus didn’t call the fishermen to come join him on his mission so he could throw them to the wolves (or the Pharisees) to be eaten alive. Jesus called them and said he would show them how to fulfill this mission. I think too often the church finds someone who breathes oxygen and has blood running through their veins and thinks they found a solution to their volunteer problems. The church must be about equipping its leaders and volunteers to fulfill the mission Jesus has them on. Our goal at NPC is to equip and teach our people, so we are all running together.

    3. Jesus Empowered (Mark 6:7) “And he [Jesus] called his twelve disciples together and began sending them out two by two, giving them authority
    Jesus had a specific mission he was here to fulfill, but part of that mission did not include him staying here physically to fulfill every role himself. He empowered and trusted the people he mobilized to join him to carry the mission out. He gave them all the authority they needed to accomplish the mission he called them to. I think the deadliest problem in the church today is “leaders” who micromanage every detail of the church. They have to know everything that’s happening and they have to have their fingerprints on it. Jesus gave his people the ability to carry out his mission without standing beside them holding their hand…and yes…they failed and they messed up…but he kept teaching them and preparing them for the day they would not have him. At New Passion we desire to empower our leaders & volunteers to fulfill the role we entrust to them.

    4. Jesus Reproduced (Matthew 28:19, 20) “…Go and make disciplesTeach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you.
    Jesus told the disciples to Go and make disciples. When we make a baby, we reproduce ourselves. Jesus had already reproduced himself into the life of the disciples, he now was telling them to go and reproduce him [Jesus] into the life of others. He said, “Teach these new disciples…” He didn’t tell them to bring the disciples back to him so he could teach them, he told his reproduction to continue to reproduce. Once again, it goes back to Jesus empowering his followers. At New Passion, we hope our people become so passionate about the mission Jesus has called us to and our vision of leading people to a passionate relationship with Jesus, that they cannot help but reproduce themselves into the life of the people around them. Life change produces life change…and that’s how God will use NPC to change the world. Life Change.

    Join the Conversation…What’s Your Additional Thoughts?

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    New Passion Turns 6-Months Old

    sixmonthsThis is an exciting Sunday for me.

    New Passion turns 6 months old this weekend! Wow, how time flies.

    These last 6 months have been incredible, its been complete with our set of difficulties as well as many successes.

    We started the church with a launch team of 21 adults and 14 children. Trust me I heard the “concern” for the size of our launch team and I experienced the push back from the so-called experts who happened to never launch a church, and I even wonder if they’ve ever even heard from God. I saw the perplexed looks I got and felt the doubt surrounding me.

    It is a good thing we have Jesus on our side and what Steven Furtick would call a “Crack Smoking” launch team, because all we had was a call from God and a vision to lead people to a passionate relationship with Jesus. We had very little equipment (and the majority of what we are using is borrowed), we had very little money (we even had to get a loan), but we had a people who love Jesus passionately and love people.

    In 6 months we’ve seen many people begin a relationship with Jesus, many people who have signed up to be baptized (Coming Soon!), our launch team has grown from 35 people to a church averaging 80-85 every week. More than just seeing visitors come check us out, we are seeing them hang around, and several have plugged in to serve in a ministry environment. Our finances have been trending up, the best news is, we’ve never done without, in fact, we have totally paid off our loan. Our new, small church provided Thanksgiving meals for over 20 families and provided a complete Christmas for 4 families, and recently helped pack a local mission’s food pantry with non-perishable foods. I see this as a sign that our people are embracing the vision of our church. We’ve heard stories of life transformation and experienced some amazing things from God. Just this past Sunday, we had a family offer our church .4 acres with a house on the property to help move New Passion towards a new home once our school lease is up. I can list story after story of how God has blown my mind in these last 6 months, no man or organization can take credit for New Passion. God is building it in such a way that only he can receive the glory.

    I was checking out what one could expect from a 6 month old baby…because that’s basically what we are, check these 7 things out:

    1. Developing New Skills & a Desire to Use Them – Like a baby, we are pretty uncoordinated with some stuff. However, every week we are improving and as we improve and  develop our skills, you’ll see vast improvement in what we offer to our community and our people.
    2. Exploration – A baby likes to touch, taste, and see new things. They are curious little rug rats. I have said before, we are an experimental church. We want what we do to fit us like a glove, we don’t want to try and be someone else. Sure someone may look at us and say how they would never do it that way…Awesome! That’s why we are doing that way.
    3. Ready to Crawl (Not Walk) – Although a baby at 6 months may be able  to stand or sit up straight, they are not ready to walk. Although some of our natural abilities may allow us to be strong in some areas, as a church, we are keeping it simple on purpose. We don’t have the structure or the finances to do too much too soon. We are okay with taking it slow.
    4. Stimulation Through New Activity – A baby is stimulated through lights and color and sound. We want to make things different and provide different experiences for our people. This goes back to experimenting, but also in unleashing new avenues to live out our HEART in the community and around the world. This does not mean a bunch of programs, but new and different experiences in what we are already doing!
    5. New Strategies – As a baby gets older, there comes a time to change strategies for eating and sleeping, to help adapt with how they are changing. As we grow there will come a place to start new strategies or adjust the ones we already have.
    6. Try new foods – A baby cannot drink milk all of its life. Baby books encourage trying new foods while avoiding others. We always need to be aware of what we can handle and what will hurt us in this stage of our church. We can get new ideas from other places, but we must filter it to make sure it is healthy for our city, our people, and our vision.
    7. Teeth – Some 6 month old babies have them and some don’t! If a 6 month old has teeth, its time to make sure they are properly taken care of. There are some things that we do well and we need give extra attention to  those areas. We need to make sure they are funded properly with a solid team of volunteers.

    A lot of these areas build on each other and are connected. Personally, I have to pace myself and remind myself that we are only several months old and there are things we need to improve on and with time, we’ll perfect them. We must crawl before we walk, but while we are crawling, I challenge our people to be passionate about what Jesus is calling us to and to give our all to his plan. I cannot wait to see what happens in these next 6 months!

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    Is It Our Responsibility?

    nehemiah-wallSeveral weeks ago I asked our people at New Passion, “Do you see the mission Jesus calls us to as your personal responsibility?

    I love the story of Nehemiah. One of the things that keeps sticking out to me is how everyone worked together for the common vision that God gave Nehemiah. There is no doubt that each person saw this mission from God as their personal responsibility. The Bible says that each person repaired the section of the wall in front of their own home. This mission was very personal.

    I love the fact that it points out in one occasion that the people worked with enthusiasm and how Baruch zealously repaired an additional section of the wall. That means he didn’t have tunnel vision – he saw the entire project as his responsibility, not just his piece of the wall…he went above and beyond…Passion will cause you to do that. It’s kind of like the Lays potato chips challenge, “I Bet You Can’t Eat Just One” – When God puts a passion in your heart, you won’t be satisfied with a mundane approach to the mission he calls you to, you’ll want more! The Nobles  and Officials agreed to give back to the poor the interest they had charged them and to require no more payments for their debt to help relieve the financial stress and pressure on the lower class. These people were willing to sacrifice in order to unify under a common vision and a  common mission. They saw it as their responsibility!

    So what about you? Do you see the mission Jesus calls His followers to as all of our personal responsibility? I believe when we get to that point, it adds a whole new dimension to the way we live out our faith. I believe it is an essential ingredient needed to change the world with the gospel.

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    UNLEASH 2010: Session 2 Perry Noble

    perry-noble1Unleash 2010 Main Session 2

    Session Notes

    Acts 14:8-

    The best thing a church can do is make sure their senior pastor is healthy

    Be careful for the crowd….those who deify will crucify. (My Note: Wow!!!)

    The problem with a lot of pastors is that we will not admit our humanity

    vs 19 – The people stoned Paul…not Barnabas or anyone else. Paul, the Leader. The main guy…that’s it.

    3 Words:

    1. Awareness -

    Many times we make mistakes because we are unaware.

    • Some people’s thoughts is that they do as much as the Senior Pastor and they carry the same load.
      (Its not that they are trying to be mean…they are just UNAWARE)
      (When Satan wants to stop a movement he always goes after the leader)
    • 3 Rocks Pastors Need to Be Aware Of -
    1. Rock of Distractions – Distractions will come our way.
      Pastor, do not get distracted with things outside of Jesus

      • Don’t get distracted by false agendas
      • Don’t get distracted by yourself
      • Don’t get distracted by Pride

      If God is using us, its because we were barren, and God changed our lives, we did nothing ourselves.

    2. Rock of Deception –
      • The deception that the Pastor has to do everything
      • The Bible calls those who do not work, lazy; It calls the one who will not rest, disobedient
      • Pastor – Do you have a date night with your wife? Without the kids? Without the cell phone?
      • Pastor, if this world can’t live without you for an hour…it’s in trouble!
      • Pastor, your kids need you!
      • Pastor, your marriage is the most important marriage in the church. It’s got to remain strong.
    3. The Rock of Discouragement -

      • Listen to your coaches, not your critics

    2. Unity -

    • Pastor – Be a man worth rallying around
      How to be a man worth rallying around:

      • Lead with Integrity (Be real – Be Sexually Pure – ETC.)
      • Get Big Vision from God (You want great leaders? Have a great vision)
      • Listen to your staff (Ask your staff: What do you think?)
        Your leaders will have a solution, your robots will wait until they are told what to do.
        Pastor, make sure your leaders are resourced, and get out of their way.
      • Keep short accounts – Don’t be bitter at people.
      • Make expectations clear – You can’t keep people accountable to an unspoken rule or expectation.
      • Honor your leader’s time

    3. Passion –

    • The average pastor is the SBC is 22 months.
    • Churches are unhealthy because there are men of God who are unwilling to stand when the rocks are thrown.
    • If you can’t support the vision of the pastor, get off his team. If he is disobeying God…God will cut him down, not you.
    • When a man of God has a supportive team or staff gathered around him, he can get back up when the stones are thrown.
    • If a staff will rally around the pastor, no rock thrower is a match for them.
    • Pastor, who do you have standing around you?

    …updating

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