Category: Personal

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My First 40 Years

Today, is my 40th Birthday, which means I have actually completed 40 years of life. I was thinking the other day about some of the things I’ve learned so far, or some of the things I have grown to appreciate, so I thought I’d share some of them here with you.

  1. Jesus is King. My life belongs to Him.
  2. Salvation is by grace alone through faith alone in Jesus alone. Don’t allow people to trap you in legalism or in performance based religion.
  3. My wife and children are the greatest earthly treasures God has ever given to me. I am a wealthy man because of them.
  4. You must be friendly in order to have friends, but just because someone is friendly doesn’t mean they are your friend.
  5. Actions DO speak louder than words. Show me, don’t just tell me.
  6. The end goal is worth the hard work: I can only expect to receive what I put into something whether relationships, career, knowledge, etc.
  7. Be who God created you to be. Don’t be a cheap imitation of someone else.
  8. People will hurt you, but Jesus never leaves or forsakes you.
  9. Forgive quickly. Forgive frequently. Forgive indiscriminately. Extend radical grace.
  10. Always do the right thing, even when it doesn’t make sense or immediately benefit you. Both blessing and consequence are typically delayed.
  11. Always remain teachable.
  12. Find a mentor. Find a coach.
  13. Don’t allow anyone to hold you back, not even yourself.
  14. Not everyone will believe in you. That’s okay. You keep believing, and keep trusting the God who you belong to.
  15. Family is your greatest priority. Family is your greatest ministry.
  16. You won’t ever regret being generous and giving sacrificially.
  17. True love is revealed in how you care for people who can’t repay you.
  18. True character is revealed by what you do when no one else is watching.
  19. Self-Righteousness is unappealing. It’s equally as unrighteous as the sinner you might look down on.
  20. Every day is a gift. Not everyone has lived to 40. Not everyone is as physically able as God has allowed me to be.
  21. It’s an undeserved blessing to live in the home God gave my family. I never take it for granted and remember it was given to us in His perfect timing. One month later, we couldn’t have afforded it. Not everyone has a roof over their head, A/C & Heat, a comfortable bed, clothes, or a pantry full of food. I am better off than my parents were when I was a kid.
  22. God is sovereign.
  23. God repays evil. You don’t have to.
  24. You don’t need a lot of friends. One or two good ones will do.
  25. Dream big.
  26. Take risks.
  27. Failure isn’t final. Dream big again. Take even more risks.
  28. Choose to look for the positive in every situation.
  29. Negativity is a poison to your soul and pushes people away.
  30. God’s Word is absolute truth and will never lead you wrong.
  31. Find a great spouse and fight for the success of your marriage.
  32. Be honest.
  33. Talk to God. He is present and He hears you.
  34. “Keep it Kind.” – Kimberly Mullins. You can’t control other people, but you can choose to be kind.
  35. I appreciate the Christian home and foundation given to me by my parents.
  36. Don’t take people for granted, they won’t always be with you.
  37. You are entitled to nothing. No one owes you anything.
  38. As a Christian, remember what you owe God and how He saved you from it. Perspective changes our attitude.
  39. Some things are worth fighting for, some are worth dying for.
  40. I am saved to live for God’s Kingdom, not my own kingdom.
  41. Our measure of success is obedience – Shane Padgett
  42. Don’t take yourself so seriously.
  43. There is always more to learn….

Join the Conversation: What are some valuable lessons you’ve learned in your own?

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Confession: My Son Got in Trouble and I Did His Work for Him

When I was a child, if I did something wrong, or was set up by my older sister, my dad would spank me with a brown, leather belt.

As I got a little older, if I did something wrong, or was set up by my older sister, my dad would spank me with a wood cutting board he made into a paddle.

As I became a pre-teen and teenager, my dad began assigning me Bible verses to write, or he’d make me look up every. single. Bible. verse. pertaining to my fault (I.E. If I was caught lying, I was given his Thompson Chain  Reference Bible and was required to write every verse connected with honesty, truth, and etc; essentially any verse the was the opposite behavior of lying). 

On many occasions I have also given my children Bible verses to write. I believe as we insert scripture, it helps reveal the wrong in our hearts and shows us where to correct course and align our hearts and life with the heart and life God calls us to live.

I utilized this same “discipline” in the substance abuse program I used to manage. I initiated a Bible verse writing program for policy infractions. The men hated it, but most of the men who were successful in the program, and had to write Bible verses along the way, would eventually thank me for the writing assignments. The theory was to put in the truth (the good) to push out the bad (that which was causing the infractions).

Tristan got in trouble last night, so I assigned him a Bible verse writing assignment. I initially told him he had to write Romans 13:1-3, 100x’s, but after realizing how long that passage is for him, I changed it to 30x’s. Before making any changes, I allowed him to write 10 verses and then asked him what the verse said and what it meant. He was able to clearly communicate it to me (which was part of my main goal). Between homework and his diligent writing, it took him until 9 p.m. to write 12 verses (it’s VERY long). 

At some point during the night I had a thought that I wanted to teach him the gospel through this situation. Yes, he needs to obey his teachers, his parents, and any other adults that have authority over him. He needs to learn that discipline, especially as an impressionable young man, but at his impressionable age he also needs to learn the gospel. God is not pleased with us just because we follow the rules; God does not accept us because we follow all of the rules. Forgiveness and salvation are not a result of our following all of the rules. It’s solely based on our faith in Jesus and what he did for us.

So, how could I teach him the gospel?

Take his punishment for him.

Tristan sinned in his behavior and earned the right to be disciplined. I assigned the penalty for his sin and then I paid the penalty I assigned to him, for him.

I wrote Tristan’s Bible verse assignment for him. I didn’t want to. It was painful. I wanted to stop and just say I forgive the debt, but that wasn’t the full picture of the gospel. Yes, God could have just said our sin debts were forgiven and he could have wiped them all clean, but he didn’t do that. God established specific requirements that had to be fulfilled in order for our sins to be forgiven. When we couldn’t fulfill God’s requirements for forgiveness, he sent his Son, Jesus to pay our penalty on our behalf.

God assigned the penalty for our sin and then God paid that penalty for us.

Jesus suffered and he sacrificed so we could be forgiven.

[tweetthis]God assigned the penalty for our sin and then God paid that penalty for us.[/tweetthis]

Here’s an interesting lesson I learned: As painful as it was for me to write his sentences for him to fulfill my own requirements, there was an excitement within me to be able to give this gift to him. I want Tristan to experience a fresh perspective of the gospel, but I think in the process I personally gained a fresh perspective of God, as my Father. If I was excited to give this gift to my son, how excited is God to give us his gift of salvation? His gift of forgiveness? His gift of mercy and grace? It cost him greatly, but he does not offer this gift to us begrudgingly; he gives it freely, lovingly, and with joy.

As Christians, God doesn’t want us begrudgingly living for or serving him. He wants us to live for him as a response to his love and grace, because we want to, not because we have to. My hope is that my children won’t just obey because they fear having to write Bible verses, or fear detention at school, or some other form of discipline. Instead, I hope they will live an honorable, productive, God-honoring life in response to God’s love and in response to their parent’s love; because they want to, not because they have to. 

Join the Conversation: As Christian parents, what are ways you’ve been able to teach or demonstrate the gospel to your children through your discipline processes or in general?

 

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The Chip

Just a few random thoughts from “the Chip”
13131285_10154031704546083_2855780508842323746_o 1. This one year chip falls out of my wallet from time to time, like it did tonight. It was given to me over a year ago by a man who completed the substance abuse program I used to manage. He gave it to me and said, “Every time you see this, I want you to remember the impact you had on people’s lives, like you did mine.” I think about him, each time I see this.
2. This past week, I ran into two men who went through that program. Both looked great & both were working jobs. The guy I saw on Sunday had a smile glued to his face & hugged me three times. It not only inspires me, personally, to see these men living new lives, but it reminds me that HOPE is ALWAYS possible in Jesus. It was possible for them and it’s possible for you!
3. Who are you investing in? Who are you duplicating your life, ministry, or influence in? When you’re no longer around, who will carry on your work? That’s my ever increasing desire: I’m praying for opportunities to give more of myself, not just to people who need hope, but to those who can give that hope. I don’t just want New Passion Church to go deep, I want us to go wide. I don’t want New Passion to die with me, I want it to thrive well beyond my life; we’ll do that by entrusting and sending others out to the people. Who will carry on your legacy and your work? #Reflection

“Every time you see this, I want you to remember the impact you had on people’s lives, like you did mine.”

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Big News for My Family and New Passion

Family

In 46 days there will be some big changes for my family and for New Passion Church. In 46 days, New Passion will have already celebrated our 6th birthday and as great of a milestone as that is, it’s been a long, tiring, challenging, yet rewarding 6 years. Although we knew the right answers and felt prepared mentally for the challenges of planting a church in a military and government community, it’s a whole new ball game once you actually put the wheels in motion. Within two weeks of our launch, we had two new families, who loved the church (and there wasn’t much to love back then), receive orders to move. Launching with 37 people, 16 of which were children, we needed people who agreed with our mission and loved our style of ministry to plug in with us early, but immediately we realized the challenges that would lie ahead of us in the years to come. It didn’t even take a month to realize theory and reality are two totally different things.

[tweetthis remove_hidden_urls=”true”]Theory and reality are two totally different things[/tweetthis]

The Struggle

Over the last 6 years, all of our leaders have either been volunteers or bi-vocational; meaning we’ve all been distracted from giving proper attention to the needs and demands of the church, because we have to pay bills and put food on the table for our families. Thankfully, God has given us great leaders, but that means in the business world they (including myself) are involved in high demanding jobs that take a lot of attention and require a lot of time. At times, this has only served to hinder New Passion. A big part of our struggles have been the lack of time and ability to train and develop new leaders and volunteers who can assist us in some of the everyday/every week ministry responsibilities, especially when we only have many of our people for a limited amount of time, before they’re shipped off. Without properly trained people, when things have to get done, it falls back on our shoulders. I cannot speak for the rest of my team, but for me personally, I am exhausted and I have decided I cannot pastor New Passion full time, take on additional roles we have not found qualified people for: Youth Pastor, Graphic Designer, Publications, etc, in addition to working a job that demands 45-50 hours per week while also having me on call 24/7. salvationarmy_logo-jpgI can no longer work 5 days per week, full time, and then come home on Friday night mentally and physically exhausted, yet still have to stay up until 5 a.m. to write a message for Sunday and then with just a few hours sleep try to spend a little time with my family before working almost all night Saturday to make sure programs and everything are ready for Sunday. I can no longer require my children to sacrifice being children by not being able to participate in extra curricular activities with school and the community. Nicki cannot play the role of both parents for three children and get them to practices and games and recitals or whatever the event might be by herself, because I cannot be there due to an evening meeting, counseling session, or something else required of me as a full time bi-vocational pastor. I have been a poor leader for New Passion because I have been spiritually, physically, and relationally unhealthy, myself. My first ministry is not to the church, it’s to my family. So, I have had to pray about and make a decision for the  future of my family and for New Passion. On one hand, I have a full time job that provides a majority of my income to provide for my family; I do ministry there and have had great success. On the other hand, I have a church that I felt God lead me to start; it’s been tough and it has struggled to get to a place where it can support staff; beyond a handful of leaders, there has been very little desire expressed by our people to make this a priority. It has not been an easy decision, but I have to put God and my family first.

[tweetthis]I have been a poor leader because I’ve been spiritually, physically & relationally unhealthy, myself[/tweetthis]

Moving On

New Logo Concept-250pxI have made the decision to move on, in 46 days. My final day will be Sunday, September 20, 2015. This is the right decision, it’s the healthiest decision, and it’s the most obedient and faith driven decision. After September 20, I will no longer be the CSRC Manager at the Salvation Army. I have officially resigned and will be stepping out on faith by trusting God to provide for New Passion in such a way that I can focus full time on leading the church God called me to start. Without a full time pastor, the church will never become all God intended it to be. This decision is not being made independently, but rather through the guidance of our executive leaders and our pastoral advisory team. The decision was actually made over a year ago, but the finances were not there.

[tweetthis]I have made the difficult decision to move on, in 46 days. My final day will be Sunday, September 20[/tweetthis]

 Permission to Go Second

The Carnes family is going first. This is the church we believe God called us to start and therefore if we are going to preach that we are called to live by faith, we must set the example by first living it. The biggest step of faith I ever took was to launch New Passion with $15,000 and 37 people, but now we are casting ourselves on the mercy and generosity of the very people God called us to lead. The finances are still not 100% where I would like them to be in order to make this move, but that’s why it’s called faith. If we are going to see our church go to the next level, this move has to be made. We are taking the first step of faith and hope it will relay_race_baton_91795766spur you on, to go second. Many of you are generous and consistent givers. Thank you! You have been the catalyst to help us see hope in making this move through our growth. It’s you who are helping us lead people to a passionate relationship with Jesus! However, there are still many of you who have yet to take a step of faith for yourself. You either don’t give, you don’t give consistently, or you don’t give sacrificially and generously. When you give, you’re not giving to the Carnes family, although one of the responsibilities of the local church is to provide for their leaders. When we give, we are first giving to God and He distributes the money in the local church for the work of the ministry and the advancement of our mission. He does this through the church leaders He sets in place and He does this through the people by adopting our annual budget. The act of giving and the characteristic of being generous is an act of worship towards God, it’s also an act of faith and obedience.

One of the reasons I have been bi-vocational for the last 6 years was to prevent our family from being a burden to the church and handcuffing us financially from being able to do ministry, however I can no longer allow another person’s lack of faith or disobedience in generous giving to be an excuse to be disobedient myself by not taking the step of faith God has called me to. I am asking you to step out in faith with us. Start giving if you haven’t; give consistently if you’ve been inconsistent; give generously if you’ve been stingy. Am I asking you this because my family’s welfare is dependent on God through the church? No, I asked this of you when I had a paycheck coming in from an outside source. I’m asking you this because it’s spiritually healthy and right and it allows us to do even more ministry and eventually add even more staff to help lead us to become a great church. The responsibility of the church is to take care of their leaders; we are dependent on you following Jesus in your own personal life and taking the steps of faith He calls you to. Statistics show that a church should have one full time staff member per 86 people in attendance; therefore we should truly not be talking about adding one full time staff member, but two. When we don’t have the right people on the bus, we’re prevented from getting to where we should be; or we get there slower and with more bumps in the road. When we don’t have the finances to put fuel in the bus, we get nowhere!

Your Turn

When you use your gifts and talents to serve at New Passion, you make us stronger and healthier by helping take the load off of those doing too much. Listen to my sermon, Stagnant Cells, from a couple of weeks ago and then make a decision to do your part by serving in a ministry environment or on a service team.

You can help fuel the bus to help us get where God wants us to go, by making a commitment to give. You can start today through our online giving option. It allows for one time gifts, gifts by guest, and reoccurring giving. You can give at New Passion, on Sundays, by way of offering envelopes or through the Connection Point KIOSK. Every financial gift given to support the ministry and mission of New Passion Church is 100% tax deductible.

You play a much larger role in the local church than you think. You help make New Passion an awesome and effective church in Grovetown and in every place God has given us influence. Church is not about sitting in a seat, hearing a sermon, and going home. Church is about coming together to be encouraged, to be challenged, and to be an encourager before going home to live out your faith in the community and in your workplace.

[tweetthis]You play a much larger role in the local church than you think.[/tweetthis]

I am excited for the potential we have at New Passion and I look forward to being able to provide the full time care that it needs. I’m excited for this new season of life where I can also provide the proper care for my family, as well as for myself physically. I’m excited for us to work together to make New Passion all God wants it to be!

 

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I Asked God….

I asked God to see through His eyes, so He made me a pastor.

I asked God to help me understand His grace, so He sent me addicts and alcoholics, and then he let me watch them relapse.

I asked God to help me love like He loves, so He sent me the homosexual who has been made an outcast by society….and even churches

I asked God to help me understand His patience, so He sent me the greedy who are more concerned with themselves than their neighbor

I asked God to help me understand His forgiveness, so He sent me parents of wayward children

I asked God to know His mercy, so He sent me the self-righteous

I asked God to understand His promises, so He sent me couples who are struggling in their marriage

I asked God to show me who I really am; He told me to simply open my eyes and look around me

The greatest pleasure of my life is to pastor New Passion Church and to serve as the manager of a local substance abuse program. Everyday I have the opportunity to share life with people who struggle to make it each day; they are messy, they are broken, and they definitely aren’t big on social graces….they are human. My daily experiences have shown me God in ways I would have never seen Him, doing anything else. The gospel is a beautiful and powerful message. I am grateful God has called me to pastor myself through many different people.